My Word, That Was Fun!

Felt a little better yesterday. Wednesday was shit, felt so sick. Couldn't focus at work, kept fucking shit up, non-drowsy my ass. Cancelled my hair appointment (rescheduled for today), cancelled dropping off my car (rescheduled for next week), didn't drop Carmin's movies off (did that yesterday after work), just ran in Target to get Mucinex and tampons. Probably the most in and out shopping I've ever done in a Target in my life. I must have felt sick haha. Had two bowls of cereal, killing that box of Life when I got home, then promptly got in bed at 6 pm where I remained until 7 the next morning. So thirteen hours of sleep. Took a huge shot of Nyquil, which helped, too. Still don't feel perfect. Did go out last night. After we managed to tear ourselves away from the American Kitchen Nightmares, some of which we watched whilst on the phone with eachother, Nick came down and we hit The Wind-up, which is decorated for Halloween, although not as good as Club Charles. Club Charles just lends itself to this holiday, considering it's haunted all year round. Anyways, there was no cover or band, which was good, because they were playing pretty good music, nearly the entirey of Iggy Pop's Lust For Life. At first I though maybe they were playing the Trainspotting soundtrack, because I heard Lust For Life, Nightclubbing, and The Passenger, but all of those are on Lust For Life, too. We had fun, although I did somehow lose one of the earrings that Nick's mom brought me back from Puerto Rico while we were out. I had this high collar zip-up sweater on, and I'm sure that's how it got caught and got snagged off and dropped somewhere. I tried to retrace my steps, but to no avail. I am so mad. I really love those earrings, I mean I really like them in general, and it was so nice of his parents to bring them back for me. I wear them a lot. I guess I will have to take the remaining one to Beadazzled in Mount Vernon maybe to see if they can make another one. So mad. Other than that, it was a fun night. Angel was there for a while, although not with Rob, and mostly hanging out with her friends, who weren't in the least bit friendly, at the other end of the bar. Which was fine. We discussed going to New York maybe in December to see Gogol Bordello, and the next time we go to Philly for the weekend. Sung along with the enw mix on the drive home, after me sining my heart out on The Lib's The Boy Looked At Johnny, Nick grabbed me and kissed me saying seeing me happy and dancing around (albeit in the driver's seat of a car haha) inspired such a reaction, whcih makes me happy to no end. We had a hilarious back and forth regarding the passing of the tide this weekend, which Nick then said was the worst Abbott and Costello bit ever. I love him for thinking of things like that, it's so brilliant and obscure. I will be glad to get out of here today and get my hair done, and then get dressed up, although I know that I am going to be freezing. Going to dress up tonight and tomorrow night since that's when everybody will be out, for the show at Joe Squared. Hope my dress fits. Didn't strya too far from my diet this week, although I see no results and feel so shitty. Don't know what to do. Anyways, very excited to go out and see that beautiful boy.

I feel like absolute shit. The allergies were so bad yesterday, and this morning my nose is still stopped up and running, and it is so sore from blowing it. I need to get some more Mucinex because I can feel it running down into my chest. It makes me feel nauseated, too. I really wish I could have stayed home today. I wonder if there is any way I can leave early? I was waiting till 8:20 to be let in the office, I was really hoping they wouldn't show. Went to The Ottobar last night. Rob came out for a while, and I was surprised to see Victor and Steph, since Kyle had a show at Sonar, but they just watched his band and then left. Felt pretty out of it most of the night actually. This medicine is supposed to be non-drowsy, but I was ready to fall asleep right on the stool. I don't care for how it makes me feel if I am around people, because I can't focus or really be bothered. When we came home, Nick got his clothes from my car and lent me his copy of Notes From The Underground. This is the copy he said that he had with him when he was hospitalised. I'm supposed to get my hair done today after work. I also need to drop my car off for service for tomorrow and take Carmin's movies back to Video Americain, which I was supposed to do last night and didn't. Got to stop at Target. I don't feel like doing any of it. I may cancel my hair appointment. I'd like it to look really good for Halloween, but I also want to rest so I can feel better. Nick requested off Monday and Tuesday. I'm very jealous, obviously, especially because he keeps reminding me that he will be able to stay in bed, all warm under the covers, when I have to go out in the cold. Anyways, last night they played like four Smiths and Morrissey songs back to back, and we were singing, Morrissey hands in full-effect, it was awesome. I will be glad to get out of here and go home so I can take some medicine and go to bed. I'll be glad to see Nick tomorrow. He said he may try to book Salt for the weekend.

It's absolutely miserable out. It's cold and has been raining since yesterday. I was hoping that atleast it would have stopped overnight, but it continues, and is supposed to all day, that is till this evening when the dreaded word "snow" may be possible, so says WTMD. I'll have to check The Weather Channel. Came straight home from work yesterday, too cold and wet. Watched television with Carmin and had two bowls of Life cereal (also two pieces of chocolate and some of those damn peanuts, but other than that, that was it for the day.). Nick called me at 9, while I was taking a little nap. We went to Club Charles, remembering once we got there that Jamie said that she wouldn't be here last week, getting ready for her theatre thing across the street at The Strand, I guess. The place was fucking over-run with Wham City kids, the little bastards, and that fat fuck, Dan Deacon was pontificating and looking like a total prat. They have nextdoor, what was the Zodiac Restaurant, as their own little "performance space" now, why can't they have their clubhouse meetings over there and leave the bar for the actual Baltimore scene. Can't stand those little New York trust-fund babies and their charity shop clothes for the sake of it. Needless to say, Nick was on a roll, his blood boiling and acid dripping from every one of his barbed remarks, said with intention of being heard. After a while though, a good deal of them cleared off, and it was alright. That or the alcohol set in and it just didn't bother us as much. Nick played Tom Petty's "Don't Come Around Here No More," which we knew was for the MICA kids, even if they were too thick to take a hint. Shay showed up after a while, spoke with her, as well as Jess, the head chef from Abacrombie.

My allergies returned with a fury today, and I am trying to hold out on taking any Tylonal Allergy Sinus whilst here at work, on account of how it fucks me up, even though it's supposed to be non-drowsy. That and not wanting to eat till I go home and have dinner (more cereal, oh yeah. I could live on cereal, and I intend to, all week till the weekend.) and I would need to eat a little something if I took medicine. Anyways, I'd like to get my hair done so that it's in top form for Halloween, but I also just want to go home and get right in bed so that I feel decent for Two For Tuesdays tonight. Have to call Victor and try to assemble the troops as it were. Nick made a new mix last night, which he said is very "Kathleen happy." I will be glad to see him later and have a few drinks. I want to dance.

"I'm An Anarchist, Therefore I'm Not Voting."

Back to work today, starting my second week. Sitting out here on my own for the time being, hopfully having enough time to save and close this if someone approaches. I slept for twelve hours Wednesday, from 7 to 7 Thursday morning. I didn't eat till I went to Fire House with Mom and Tony for dinner, and then I had a bowl of Maryland Crab, a small Caesar salad, and maybe five or so of Mom's steak fries. Oh, and two vodka and diets, had to start early. Actually put a lot of effort into my appearence, wore some make-up, with positive results. We went to The Wind-up where there was a band playing, they weren't great, but it was tolerable, not that dischordant noise like last week. Again, if you're not The Velvet Underground, don't try to be The Velvet Underground. Nick's students had pretty much non-stop melt-downs this week, so I got to hear about him nearly getting bitten several times, and having to preform those "take-down" techniques that he learned. We had some drinks and it was fun. Had a nice conversation about books and stuff we read in school as kids, what we liked and what we didn't at the time, and what we changed our minds on upon re-reading as adults. Stopped at Subway and had some Walker's whilst watching a jewelry sale on HSN or QVC and the nonesense on Shop Erotic, switching back and forth to create some hilarious snippets of conversation. For whatever reason, on Thursday at work, everything just kind of clicked, and now I feel like I totally get it, or that I'm on the road to totally getting it, and I was zipping around like I was on speed, the time went by and I felt really good about being there, like I know what I'm doing. Anyways, Friday was pretty much the same, and when I was about to leave, I got a text from Nick saying that he got reservations for Pazo at 8:30. So I was really excited for that. Stopped at Reptilian when I left here to get the tickets for World Inferno, then got a new pair of black jeans at Target. Hung out with Carmin and Allen at the house before they went out and I got ready. Pazo is gorgeous. I had noidea that it was so large, the entirety of this converted warehouse in Fells, so beautiful and opulent, and Nick said that he knew that it would appeal to my 1920's aesthetic, and he was right. The food was pretty good, tapas, although not as many good choices as Kali's Mezza, I don't think. I kind of made a pig of myself on these fries, because I didn't know that there would be so many in an order, or that we would be ordering more rounds of small plates, so I kind of had a little bit of a breakdown at the table feeling fat and gluttonous, which would have been understandable had I been drinking, but I hadn't started yet, so this was overly emotional without real reason. I felt really bad and dumb after, I must have looked really upset, because Nick kept asking, "Baby, what's wrong? Clearly something is." I am committed to not getting upset like that, not complaining, to not being whiney or sulking. I mean it. Anyways, we ordered a number of things. First, they gave us these fabulous crackers, like graham crackers with pumpkin seeds on top. Then we got flat bread with goat's cheese, Nick got scallops, which I have never cared for, but they were on top of pureed squash, which was like a more subtle sweet potato mash. Very good, I was sorry when the girl took it prematurely. I got some garlic shrimp, which was good, although I could have done without the tomato creme sauce on top, Nick got some sort of breaded pork skewers, veal empanadas, and I got those fries, or "papas fritas," then "Spanish peanuts" with dried chick peas, sauteed broccoli, which was really good (olive oil and lime salt), and potato coquettas. I abstained from dessert, even though there was an espresso ice cream calling to me, and just stuck with a cappuccino, while Nick got watermelon granita, which despite being a slush, was so flavourful, and natural watermelon flavour, too. All in all, it was very good, and I definately would like to go back and try more of their selections. Following that, we made our way from Fell's up Broadway to North Avenue, approaching The Wind-up from the opposite way. There were a lot of weirdos out. Some people seemingly getting an early start on the zombie walk Saturday, some maybe from this avant-garde street theatre group I've read about, some maybe legitimantly fucking weird, you just couldn't tell. Saw Rob and Chrissy for a little while. Came home, had a lovely time. Slept in, actually got up early by our standards, 12:30, 1 o'clock. Started the day in the best way, killed some time around the house till the rain let up. Went to Tattoo Museum for Nick to get some ink. I wanted to get some more and all. He got his Utz girl, so now he's literally got a chip on is shoulder haha. It looks really good. Went to his parents' for a bit, where they showed me their wedding photos and pictures from when they were at Exeter in England. We then left to have dinner at Golden West. It wasn't as good as it had been when I was there on Monday, atleast my quesadillas weren't. I think Nick's bbq bacon burger was up to his standards though, as were the tater tots. Got a piece of cake, although it was yellow with chocolate icing instead of the mocha, which I would have preferred, but they were out. Actually, that was a little dry, so, it was alright, but I've had better there. Went to Fraizer's to have a drink and meet up with Lori before going to the Ottobar for the World Inferno show. Rob and Angel showed up, and went to The Ottobar, as well, but stayed upstairs. There were a lot of opening bands, so we were upstairs for a while, before going down. World Inferno Friendship Society was fucking amazing. I had never heard them before, but Nick had and thought that I would like them, and I really, really do. Absolutely incredible, caberet punk really is the only way to describe it. It's totally the kind of thing that I can see myself getting behind and into, like The Libs, something bigger than just music. We danced and rocked out, Nick got in the pit, luckily nobdy hurt his arm, and the last song of the encore, I got in, as well. I didn't get trampled, Thank God. It was so much fun. At one point, while we were dancing, Nick said to me, "I do love you," which makes me happy to no end. The band played one song where you waltzed, which I lead Nick with. We got the hang of it after a bit, although we stopped because he got dizzy haha. It was an awesome time. Nick went home since he had to get up to go to the Ravens' game with his dad. They won, which was good. I spent my day hanging out with Carmin. We went to Common Ground, but it was packed inside and we had to eat our bagels and have our iced mochas outside, which sucked because it was cold. Then we went to Walmart and Alko for me to get some more scrubs. Watched Shaun Of The Dead on television, which is still one of my favourite movies. In fact, Saturday night when we were eating in Gold West, there was a guy dressed as Shaun, and when he got up to leave, I said to him, "Excuse me, you've got red on you." It was funny. He got a kick out of our knowing who he was supposed to be, and Nick and I got a kick out of it because, as Nick said, that movie will always hold a special place in our hearts.

Trying to decide if I want to go straight home or make any stops after work. I will be glad to see Nick later on.

Nothing Matters When We're Dancing

Started the new job, typing this there now--- hope I don't get caught. Haven't updated in nearly a week. I have a lot to remember and get down here. Hoping things get better with this. Hope I made the right choice by leaving St. Joe's.

Last Thursday, I tried to get the rest of my stuff done. Ended up getting nearly everything accomplished, except getting my car washed and detailed and getting it serviced (oil change and that). Oh, and somehow, still managed to not write out any of my bills, even once I got paid. Now that's just laziness. That and my fucking O.C.D. is getting pretty bad again. Really, I could have had two weeks off and still wouldn't have gotten everything done. But eh. Nick came down and we went to The Wind-up. Lori met us and Victor said he was coming out, and he brought Kallen with him. That was a really nice surprise. I didn't even know that she was in town. So it was awesome to see her and introduce her to Nick and all. The Wind-up closed early, so we headed to Club Charles, where I was somehow coerced into getting two of Jeremy's fabulous white Russians. This was after three vodka and diets at The Wind-up, and only a salad and some popcorn all day. Ran into this kid in Club Charles that I went to Hamilton with, who is Matty's best friend, and coincedently just came back from Iraq where he was stationed with Mr. Kim and Kassey. How crazy is that? Ended up really drunk, even though I didn't finish the second white Russian, only drank about half, and Nick had to drive my car home. This was actually the first time he had driven my car, which is funny considering all the times that I have driven his. Anyways, it was fun, and when we got home, despite the late hour, there was even more fun to be had.

I felt like absolute shit the next day, though, when I had to go for my tattoo at one. I think I have figured it out though. Much like how Jamie's espresso martinis fuck me up the next day, I have noticed that if I do not drink something like that or a white Russian as my first drink, the next day I have acid reflux, nausea, and a headache. Persevered, though, and got my ink. I think it is healing well, and Nick's reaction was really awesome. He keeps telling people and making me show it, and their reactions have been cool. It took two and a half hours and it was excruciatingly painful. But I'm glad that I finally got it. We went to a party at Barclay Friday night, then met up with Rob and Angel at The Ottobar. Nick just got a beautiful black wool trench coat from H & M. It is so cool. Totally suits him. We stopped at Subway on the way home and had that with the Walker's. I went upstairs to put my pijamas on and tend to my tattoo, and when I came back down, Nick had fallen asleep, bag of crisps in his lap, The Knife Show on the television, and I couldn't get him to come upstairs to save my life. Finally, I was able to get him to come up at 6:30 in the morning before Carmin left for work--- still slumped over, crisp bag in his lap. I was glad though that we got to sleep in for a while before going to this film screening at The Wind-up (weird being there in the daylight) about the Latino Morrissey fans. I had seen another documentary about that a couple of years ago called Is It Really So Strange? It was cool. It was about four by the time that let out, so we went to Nick's before our dinner reservations at Abacrombie. His one aunt and uncle were in town. Abacrombie was really fucking good this time, but boy, did we draw attention to ourselves. It was packed because of the pre-symphony crowd getting dinner, and they were all rich, older people, and Nick and I were there with our tattoos and jeans. Needless to say, he found this endlessly amusing. The meal was excellent. We both got the fabulous mac and cheese for starters, Nick got a beer, then this huge steak with potato wedges that were baked and seasoned. It was actually a pretty straight forward meal, and a lot more food than before. For dessert, we got an Alaskan Baked Smore, which was toasted marshmellow on a graham cracker with chocolate peanut butter ice cream inside. It was so good, well, I could have done without the marshmellow really. I ordered an espresso martini, and Nick ordered a rootbeer float off of the dessert menu, but it wasn't like a regular rootbeer float. It was vanila ice cream then rootbeer slush, then more ice cream. It was delicious. The meal was good, and Jess, the head chef, came out to talk to us. Hadn't seen her since she moved and it was coming up on Nick's B-day. She compted our desserts, which was relly sweet, but then it knocked us too low to use this coupon, so we have it for next time. After that, we went to Club Charles, then The Wind-up, then back to club Charles with Rob and Angel. It sucked that I had to get up at 5 to go over Mom's to go to the Race For The Cure. I was glad to go, I just wish it was later (and that it wasn't so damn cold. It was so fucking cold!!). Nick went home when we got back and I only got three hours of sleep, so I kind of felt jipped on my weekend. Went to dinner with Mom and Tony later for her B-day. Started the new job Monday, with drama, since those bastards at St. Joe's towed my car from wher it was parked, even though I emailed them before I left the hospital saying that I would be working in the other building now and not to tow my car. I was hysterical. Luckilly, they ate the charges but I had to leave early to get Mom and Tony to drive me all the way to Hunt Valley to get my car. It gave me a story though Monday night when we went to Club Charles. That was a lot of fun. Ran into Kyle and Pat Lamont. We both started yawning, so we left at one, which was good, because then it was early enough for Nick to stay for a while and left my house the same time that he would have headed home had we stayed till last call. I got him that Okervill River record. Last night was really fun at Ottobar. We started watching the Capitals game with Rob, then Lori, Victor, Kyle and Steph got there, and everybody talked. Nick and I danced, and eventually, so did Lori and Victor, like jitterbugging, and then at last call, everybody danced, and it was awesome. They played Common People for the last song, and I realize more and more how true that song is. Rob and Angel are doing something tonight that they wanted us to go to, but I don't know if we are. I will be glad to see Nick tomorrow if not tonight.

It has been a while. This is due to the whole being off all week in between jobs thing, but I figured that I had better get on here since my normal old routine of updating at the now "old job" is no more. I need to determine what the new set-up will be and when I will update going forward. Anyways, so Friday was my last day. Let me tell you, nothing felt better than walking out of there knowing that I wouldn't have to go back, and that I was walking out on my own, with somewhere (hopefully better) to go. Sunday night especially was free of the dread that normally would accompany it knowing that the weekend was over and I'd be going back to fight another week. Friday night we went to The Wind-up, met Rob there for a bit. Saturday we slept in, made dinner reservations at Cinghale, and pretty much did very little till then. Got dressed then went to Nick's for him to get ready, then headed to Harbour East. Nick drove and paid, which was very nice. Enjoyed the meal thoroughly this time. Still pretentious and expensive to an obscene degree, but I atleast managed to get proper pasta with a damn tomato sauce this time. The bread was exquisite, and they kept it coming. Had a red pepper soup with tomatos and ricotta filled pasta, then angel hair with tomato sauce. Nick had grilled calamarri, then hand-formed tortolini with a rosemary sauce (was supposed to be the large portion, but I swear there were maybe thirteen tortolini--- I would have hated to see the small). We each got a martini to start, which was wrong, because it was ridiculously fuckng expensive, about twenty-seven dollars for both--- more than my dinner cost! Desserts were amazing, though. I got the panna cotta again, but this time they added a toffee hazelnut cookie, thin like a pizzelle, which was absolutely incredible. "Multiple Orgasm Cookie" we titled it. Nick got what they called Chocolate Soup, which was basically melted chocolate gelato, but with chile and chocolate bits and espresso gelato on top. It was spicy and kind of weird, but he liked it. Got cappuccino and espresso, as well, inching the bill to $120.00 dollars. Left there and went to---can you guess--- The Wind-up, where we avoided the cover and waited for Lori and Rob and Angel. Angel had a friend up from Austin and her sister to see some hip-hop dj thing (Ninja Sonik, I believe). The place was packed, and because of the big meal, I was on my fourth drink before I felt even the slightest buzz, had five in all, didn't have to drive, and Nick limited the boiler makers, so he was fine. There are tagged photos on MySpace documenting the nonesense, one of Nick and I dancing, where he may or may not be cupping my boob. Classy. Actually it's not my boob, but at a quick glance his hand appears to be in that region. Sunday we had to be up by 11 to head to Chris' parents' house to watch the game, which was a disaster. I am getting to be able to follow it a little bit more now. We were going to go to b for dinner, but Nick's parents ordered Papa John's so we just hung out there, watched some of that Planet Earth special in HD, which was pretty cool. Ate lots of pizza and cheesy bread, and then dozed off.

Monday, I tried to get as much knocked out as possible, of the stuff I wanted to accomplish. Got some stuff done, went to dinner with Dad and Mary--- Carrabas, and even though it was the only time I ate that day, still ate a lot. this whole week I've been bad, in fact. I really think I am fatter now than when Rob and I were still together. I hope that when I start my new job, I will be moving around much more and less all about eating when I'm on my own. Club Charles was in order, and when Nick came over, he had a present for me, since as of midnight, we would be dating seven months. I don't keep track of it the way he does, but he is right, and I am so happy about that, and with what he got me--- a 12 inch record single by Joe Strummer of Love Kills from his Sid and Nancy soundtrack. I still need to find a little something for him. Club Charles was fun, if kind of slow, initially. Rob stopped by for a while, and I got to talking with Shay and got her number. I am determined never to get one of Jamie's espresso martinis ever again, because I don't know what she does to them, but they FUCK me up the next day. Tuesday I was very excited to go to Cafe Hon with Mom, but felt so shitty when I woke up, that I had to take some Zantac and lay back down. Ended up feeling better, and over did it so bad with lunch--- cup of Maryland crab, grilled cheese, fries with gravy, birchbeer. Then, later on, around 7, I ate tortolini!! I seriously have a fucking problem. I read the best quote by Alexander Woolcot yesterday which said, "Everything I enjoy is either immoral, illegal, or fattening." If that's not the truth!! Two For Tuesday was a lot of fun, though. Had a remarkable turn-out, Nick and I, Victor, Kyl, and Joe Red, Rob, Lori, then even Chris Jerkass for a bit, as well as some other appearences on the periphery. Talked to Jared about the wonderful limbo of having quit a job but not yet starting the new one.

Yesterday I tried to get more stuff done, that got cut a little short because Victor called me to go to the mall with him to find black skinny jeans for his Lemmy costume for Halloween. Then I came home where Carmin and I watched some Trading Spouces before I fucking ate AGAIN (pasta no less, had already treated myself to Bella Roma earlier for a slice with sausage and green peppers and a birchbeer, and then a coffee.). Watched the Project Runway finale, Leanne won, which was good, atleast it wasn't Kenley, who is still oblivious to the fact that she is a bitch. Went to bed, didn't even see the reuinion show. Have gotten some amazing books this week and Carmin got some on Friday. Saw Dwaine and have my appointment to finally get my ink done tomorrow at 1. Very excited, but nervous, too. Going to try to knock the rest of this shit out today.

Nick and I texted some last night about Project Runway. I will be very glad to see him later.

Tomorrow We Can Drive Around This Town

Today is my last day here. I can barely contain my joy haha. Toying with the idea of leaving early--- what are they going to do, fire me? Probably should refrain from doing that though. Yesterday, I ate so bad, but I figure I will not be going out like I was everyday once I start the new job, and also I will not have those fucking conferences pushing food. Yesterday, I suppose as a last hurrah or something, I went to Chik-Fil-A, didn't eat all the nuggets, though. Debating today whether I want a bagel for lunch, or should I just behave myself?

Went to The Wind-up last night. Was terribly happy to see Nick. Listened to that mix with the Ryan Adams cover of Wonderwall and The Gin Blossoms' Hey Jealousy, then Alkaline's Radio (twice). Discussed Project Runway, ridiculous. I cannot believe that that woman is going to Bryant Park. I will be glad when Top Chef begins. Victor finally made it out, although without the Buick. He and Joe Red came out around 1 with a disc-portfolio of Victor's work to show Russell, so hopefully he can have an exhibition there. Headed home after that, both of us tired. I am glad that it is the weekend, and that I have this next week off. There is an away game on Sunday and Chris may be having people over again. I hope I remember to bring something this time. I feel weird going to people's houses and eating and not having brought something.

I finally got on MySpace last night after like two weeks. Angel put up some of her pics from last weekend, which I added. Watched some videos on YouTube and did my laundry. Saw Jonathan Stewart and Colbert, which I hadn't seen in a long time. I think that that is why I have been so lackluster and uninformed (and uninterested) with the election so far, because I haven't been watching those shows like I used to. I remember now that I also wanted to watch the new Sunny episodes.

Buba and Pop would be married fifty-five years today. I will hit the cemetary either today or Monday. I can't believe that it's been so long. I am so afraid of losing stuff, of forgetting, it is getting further and further away, and I have had to refrain from remembering in some ways, to cope, but I am afraid thatI may not be able to recall it at all at some point. It means so much to me.

I will be glad to see Nick later and start the weekend.

This Song Might Deliver Me

Well, the Hot Chip show ended up being cancelled. According to Shea, it was announced after everybody had bought tickets for the D.C. show, and then there were not too many people with tickets bought for the Baltimore show, so they decided not to do it. Kind of shitty, if you ask me, but atleast we didn't spend any money on the tickets (these are the ones that Mom won from WRNR), and Nick saw the website right before he left to come over, so we didn't drive all the way down there and have to pay parking only to find it cancelled. So we hit The Ottobar for Two For Tuesdays. It was just us for a good while (Laurie was with her parents for their anniversary, Rob and Angel opted to stay home and watch the Presidential debate), but Victor and Steph came out, which was a nice surprise. Craig was playing some good songs, we danced the last song, which was Common People. There are two shows coming up there that I will probably get tickets for at Reptilian next week when I am off, the rescheduled Ra Ra Riot show, and a band called World Inferno, which I have never heard, but Nick said is awesome, and describes it as "cabaret punk." Anyways, Ottobar was a good time, wore my new leather jacket I treated myself to yesterday. It's only faux, and was $50 from H & M, but it is really cool, totally Libertines. Victor wants us to come with him and Nikki to see Rise Against and Alkaline on Sunday. What we really want to see is Gaslight Anthem, who are opening (although Alkaline again, of course would be cool.). Stayed pretty much till close, got home intending on not making it such a late night, but then there was an utterance of, "Oh, fuck it," and furniture was rearranged. I hope he was able to get up and all this morning. It wasn't that much later.

Project Runway tonight, we are down to the final collections from the last four to determine the final three to go to Bryant Park. Tomorrow, Victor wants to bring the Buick to The Wind-up, but only if we can get there first and get a good parking spot right in front that he can then have and keep an eye on it.

Saw the coolest video yesterday. It was for The Kills "Last Day Of The Magic" and it is fucking awesome. The whole video is Jamie and VV beating the shit out of eachother and it is just really neat how it is shot. It looks so real, with them, who knows, it probably is. They just have such a brilliant magnetism and dynamic. Totally going to watch that a few more times today. Also, Babyshambles' "Delivery."

Wearing my bruises with pride.

The Kills Are The Definition Of Cool

The show last night was fucking awesome. The Kills put on an amazing performance, played a little over an hour, I'd say, coming back for an encore at the end. They looked and sounded fabulous--- so fucking cool. I ROCKED out, and because it was a free MySpace show, there were a good number of people I think who had probably never heard of them before, that just came because it was free and 18 and up, because as I looked around, there were a lot of people NOT rocking out, not singing a long, and in all honestly, even of those who were singing and all, I was probably a little over the top, but I don't care. Nick and I really enjoyed it and Laurie came out, too, which was cool. I didn't know that she liked them, and she didn't know about the show at all, so I'm glad that she could make it. We got posters at the end, too, which I look forward to putting on the wall.

Went over Nick's and we left from there. His parents congratulated me on getting that job, which was very nice. Had some drinks before the show started, had a lovely buzz going (almost surprised since I had a turkey and cheese sandwich on an English muffin and two bowls of Crispix for dinner). Went to Club Charles after the show. Made use of the fact that the entire upstairs of the bar was empty--- scandalous scandalous. Nick is concerned because his Sheppard Pratt check hadn't gone through yet, and he really wants to get his PS3, or whatever it is, today. Tonight is that Hot Chip show at Ram's Head Live that Mom won tickets for (Jared said last night as we were leaving that he'd see us tomorrow, but I doubt we'll make it to Two For Tuesdays tonight with this show downtown). Anyways, looking forward to making up for lost time and really liking this seeing bands for free thing.

My boss is pissed at me for giving such short notice, but I feel so awesome about it. I know that this new job will not be perfect, either, but it will be something different. I know she thinks that it's shitty that I am taking a week to myself, but I'm so excited for it, and I think it's necessary to give yourself a break between starting something new.

"When Can You Start?"

I just got a call from the doctors' office where I went on the interviews--- they offered me the job!! I will start there on Monday the 20th. I'm making this Friday be my last day here, because I want to have a few days off in between. I NEED to have some time off. I'm very excited. I really hope that I'm doing the right thing.

"Jose Cuervo Was The First Thing Listed!"

The weekend was too short, but what else is new? After work, still a wreck, went and got my hair cut, then home where I continued my chain-smoking till 7 when I called Nick and luckily, nothing was said. He, too, had just gotten back from getting his hair cut and eating at Five Guys. I hadn't eaten all day, and ended up not eating till after 10, at Joe Squared, where I had a 10 inch Margherita pizza. Really, I could have gone without eating entirely by that point, but I knew that I wanted to have some drinks, so I had that. Someone seemed to have been very heavy handed with the salt shaker, but it was alright. Still would like to try some other pizzas there. It was a lot of fun, Rob's band was awesome, Nick looked so damn good, although when he came over, he initally had a mustache, which I wasn't too crazy about, but he could have worn it out--- it would have been the subject of discussion for the night--- but he said he just wanted me to see it and he would go upstairs and shave it off. He has such a pretty face. Anyways, he and I both had a number of drinks, he bought a shot for Rob's B-day, and I bought a shot for Angel's. We headed to The Wind-up afterwards. Had to make a couple of stops on the way home, and after much coersion, was able to get him in the house, where he promptly collapsed on the sofa, the stairs just too daunting. I slept on the comfy chair and ottoman. The funny part was that a few hours later, when he woke up and ventured upstairs, he didn't notice me on the chair, so once he got up there, I got a phone call saying, "Where are you?" I then went up and got in bed, which was the best thing. We slept in, till close to 2. Stayed in all day, Nick felt really shitty, a combination I think of the on-going cold or allergies thing and his stomach was all upset from the drinking and throwing up the night before. So we stayed in a re-watched that Seven Ages of Rock documentary on VH1 Classic. I made tortolini for lunch and around 8 we left to go to Rocket for dinner. It proved to be underwhelming, but that was alright. Discussed making Salt the next restaurant we want to try. Met up with Rob and Angel and Laurie at Club Charles. Nick headed home after that since there was a Ravens' game on Sunday (they ended up losing.). I bummed around on my own, went to the bank and Walmart to get the money order for the rent, bought mousetraps (the mouse has been going in Carmin's room now), then to Common Ground for a bagel with tuna and an iced mocha. Went home to wait for Jeff to come over and set up the traps and change the lock on the laundry room door. Then I went to Target where I was in my glories since they have finally put out their Mossimo long-sleeved t-shirts. Also got a pair of skinny jeans, that may or may not be acid washed. They are black though, so it doesn't look bad. Hung out with Carmin when she got home.

Very excited about the Kills show tonight at Ottobar.

Glad it's Friday, although my nerves are effectively shot. Got a cryptic text from Nick last night around quarter of one saying that, "The brick wall of complacency is looming over me like a spectre and I need to find a way to snap out of this shit." I was sleeping when this came over, so I asked what he meant, and he said that he was too comfortable in a routine and it was killing him and that you could call it a mid-life crisis. I don't know what to make of that, but it upsets me. I didn't know what to say back, and not wanting to launch into whole discussion through texting, and not wanting to call to either seem too much and because I sometimes have trouble understanding him on his phone, I didn't say anything and went back to bed. Of course, now this morning when I get up, I am faced with worrying about what he means by that, is this referring to our dating for six months and that sort of thing, or his new job, or what exactly? I don't want it to be something regarding me, I'm trying so hard to be a good girlfriend. I don't think we have out-lived our fondness or excitement by any means. I hope he doesn't feel like that. Oh, God, I've been so happy and I am so thankful for all of this. I promise to be good. I won't open my mouth about the weight thing--- I have been keeping shut about it for the most part--- I don't want to lose it the way I did last year. I don't want anything like that.

We went to Clementine with my Mom yesterday. It was very good and we had a good time. I swear, kissing him is my favourite fucking thing to do. I have to go for that interview today on my lunch. If they offer me the job, I think that I will take it. I know that I have been in a rut about that, but I have tried to make a point of saying that that is all it is, and trying not to let it effect my mood regarding our interaction, and I have been so happy about the prospect of this new job. My O.C.D. is fucking driving me nuts today. I just want to get out of here. I hope we go to Rob's show tonight. I just want to see him.

Feeling somewhat better, although I need to take some Mucinex as soon as I get home, since I now have phlem in my chest, and want to get that resolved as soon as possible. Stayed home yesterday and committed most of the day to staying in bed. Slept in till 11, got up and had two bowls of cereal to have something on my stomach for taking the allergy medicine. Went back to bed for a while, then got up again with the horrible fucking headache. Not sure if it was from sinus pressure, my period starting, or the fact that I hadn't had any coffee, so Carmin and I went to Starbucks. Got a pumpkin Frap and that seemed to do the trick. I will say, although I hate winter, one good thing about cold weather is that I do enjoy drinking hot beverages, and I especially love the return of pumpkin flavoured things, like the frap and latte, and the pumpkin loaf and muffins and all. Once Christmas gets closer, there will be the gingerbread lattes, which are delicious, as well. Anyways, Allen came down and while he and Carmin decided what they wanted to do, I took a little trip to the mall to look for long-sleeved t-shirts. Stopped in The Gap and saw Reggie, which was nice. We talked about people we used to work with and who was still with the company and that sort of thing. Made me nostalgic. It seems like a million years ago, and in many ways it may as well have been, but it just shines as a special time when the stars were in alignment and we had a really good group of people working together. Unfortunately, White Marsh didn't have all of the colours that Towson had, so I didn't get any there. Did get a black one at Forever 21 for $5 and a navy blue three-quarter-sleeve shirt for $6. Also, the Dollar Store had scarves, so I picked up a black, white, and red one, because you can really never have too many scarves, especially when they are only $1. Came home and put clothes away and had an Activia yogurt before getting back in bed and sleeping till Project Runway came on. Ate some Crispix. Went to bed afterwards and slept till I had to come in here at 7 this morning.

Made reservations for Mom and Nick and I to have dinner at Clementine today at 5. Tonight is that Tegan and Sara show that he is going to with Christina, but that's not until later. We went to Ottobar Tuesday night. Thought we were going to be the only ones there, since Laurie is broke and Rob was feeling sick and opted to just go to Frazier's, but a large portion of the Goucher Lezzie Brigade came instead. Neither of us was feeling that great, but we still had fun.

I will text Nick when I get out today to remind him to come over to go to Clementine. Tomorrow, I go for a second interview with the head practice manager during my lunch, so I have to make sure I get there on time. I just feel like I am so ready to do something new. I will be glad to see Nick later. Tomorrow is Rob's show for his B-day at Joe Squared, so hopefully I'll finally get some of their pizza everybody raves about. Saturday is Allen's B-day, but I don't know if they are doing anything besides the two of them.