Glad it's Friday, although my nerves are effectively shot. Got a cryptic text from Nick last night around quarter of one saying that, "The brick wall of complacency is looming over me like a spectre and I need to find a way to snap out of this shit." I was sleeping when this came over, so I asked what he meant, and he said that he was too comfortable in a routine and it was killing him and that you could call it a mid-life crisis. I don't know what to make of that, but it upsets me. I didn't know what to say back, and not wanting to launch into whole discussion through texting, and not wanting to call to either seem too much and because I sometimes have trouble understanding him on his phone, I didn't say anything and went back to bed. Of course, now this morning when I get up, I am faced with worrying about what he means by that, is this referring to our dating for six months and that sort of thing, or his new job, or what exactly? I don't want it to be something regarding me, I'm trying so hard to be a good girlfriend. I don't think we have out-lived our fondness or excitement by any means. I hope he doesn't feel like that. Oh, God, I've been so happy and I am so thankful for all of this. I promise to be good. I won't open my mouth about the weight thing--- I have been keeping shut about it for the most part--- I don't want to lose it the way I did last year. I don't want anything like that.

We went to Clementine with my Mom yesterday. It was very good and we had a good time. I swear, kissing him is my favourite fucking thing to do. I have to go for that interview today on my lunch. If they offer me the job, I think that I will take it. I know that I have been in a rut about that, but I have tried to make a point of saying that that is all it is, and trying not to let it effect my mood regarding our interaction, and I have been so happy about the prospect of this new job. My O.C.D. is fucking driving me nuts today. I just want to get out of here. I hope we go to Rob's show tonight. I just want to see him.