Started my new job this week. I have my own office and it is very similar to St. Joe's. I absolutely love it. My last week of unemployment was well spent. Monday night we went to Club Charles with Rob and Angel, to celebrate Rob's getting into grad school and to continue celebrating my getting a new job. Tuesday was Twofer and we had some people out, danced to soul and motown as the evening wore on. Wednesday there was the unexpected treat of Nick and I having dinner after a girl came by to look at the house. She already is living with five other people, so she didn't seem put of by the amount of people in the house or the smallness of the room. We went to Rocket afterwards. It was pretty good, since they don't rank very high with me, this time it was actually decent. They had grilled asparagus as an appetizerwhich was delicious. Thursday we went to D.C. to see Robyn Hitchcock. He was really good, opened with I Often dream Of Trains and also played Glass Hotel, and the banter beween songs was again priceless, rambling nonesensical brilliance. Got back early enough to hit The Wind-up. Friday was Phoebe's party. It was pretty fun, the weather was really nice. It wrapped up surprisingly early and nearly everybody left before us and it was barely one, if that. Early that day, we showed the house to a guy who was not at all put off by the smalness of the room or lack of closet, and seemed particularly fond of the balcony off the back. Also met Nick's friend, Mel, another Jewish lesbian from Goucher, in town for a while.. She's really cool and had a couple of friends with her, one of which who works with Joe Red at Apple. Smaltimore. we all went to Golden West, which was really, really good. Saturday was busy since we went to Tia's B-day party at Crush (another party where Nick and I were two of the only white people there.). it was so good to see her. Had two incredibly good cocktails there, a chocolate martini (those are always good), and what they called a "Sex On The Square" (because the restaurant is at Belvedere Square), which consisted of Grey Goose, Triple Sec, cranberry juice, and champagne. Tasty. Then we went to Frazier's to see Victor's band with Joe Red and Al Wildcat play. Victor has such a good singing voice, I had no idea. They should have him sing all of the songs. Proceeded to get obliteratingly drunk, partly because I knew we were walking back to the house. Had two vodka and pineapples. When we got back to the house, I was saying some ridiculous shit, that Nick found amusing enough to warrant recording it on that little video camerathat he got for Christmas. He played it back for me on Easter morning before I left to go to dinner, and I was mortified. I sincerely hope that I don't act like that on a regular basis. Nick and other people I have voiced my concerns to assure that I do not, Nick said tht that was a particularly drunk state for me, that that's why it was funny, and that he's only seen it a couple of times. I guess I subconciously knew that that was like a last hurrah for being able to get drunk before going back to work. I don't usually get like that. Dinner with Mom and Tony t General Pickett's was fabulous, as always. It was so good to get to sleep with Nick last night. I will be glad to see him tomorrow and get closer to the weekend and having completed my first week at my new job.

Gainful Employment

Ok, boy, it has taken me a long time to update. Well, Philly was fun. The weather could have been better, as could my mood at various points (don't know what that was about really, possibly the weather), all in all, it was a good time. The Gaslight show was amazing, although I should have thought ahead that we were across from Jersey, and they are a Jersey band. Those people will fucking two-step and skank to anything. Got a shoulder in my jaw and got whacked in the nose once, luckily nothing serious, somehow we managed to be standing at the edge of the pit once it formed. Nick jumped in a couple of times, I would, except that I don't want to get hit in the face. It's not the best face, but it's all I'm working with. The hotel was lovely. Did the Museum Of Art stairs like in Rocky. It was good to come back though. Club Charles on Monday, Rob came out for a while. He and Angel are back together, or, really, I should say, are officially together as bf and gf for the first time. Went for my interview on Tuesday. Went well, it's in Owings Mills, being a telephone operator (just hope that this fucking cough that I have had will not hinder me in speaking on the phone.) for American Radiology. Went to The Ottobar later, after making dinner for Nick and Carmin (Italian sausage, cheese tortolini and sauce, and garlic bread.), had a lovely time. Very nice sleeping over at Nick's. After returning home on Sunday night, when I saw him the next day, he said that it was weird sleeping in the bed without me, which I thought was really cool. Made dinner for Carmin and I on Wednesday, then we sat looking through her pictures and magazine articles, throwing stuff out and breaking it into categories, which the next day I sorted through further into subject, like I organise mine. We had cocktails there looking through stuff whilst watching Kids In The Hall, and I suddenly got very sad and started crying because I realised that soon we won't be doing things like that, since we won't be living together anymore. I know that we will still see eachother, but it just made me sad because we have lived together for five years and had countless, wonderful evenings such as this. I wasn't even drunk yet!! Tried to go to The Wind-up on Thursday, but they were closed. As Nick and I drove around the block to Club Charles, we were fearfully speculating what was wrong, did they close up, were they cutting back to just the weekends, were they only going to be a show-space now? Our fears were laid to rest when we walked in, and who should be sitting in the first booth, but Russell and his wife. The city knocked out his power by accident in trying to demolish this building next door, but it would be back on tomorrow. We were very relieved, and he seemed touched that we were so concerned haha. Lori came out, and I proceeded to enjoy two and a half delicious Jeremy white Russians. Friday, they called me from American and offered me the job (yay!), and said for me to go for the drug test. Carmin was off, so we had lunch (forgot and had an everything bagel, which has poppyseeds on it, hope that doesn't fuck me over and register as opium.), then went for the piss-test, then ran errands. Friday night, Rob and Angel came out with us to the Wind-up, where Nick informed them that we were celebrating my gainful employment. Their reaction was awesome, we did shots and it was a lot of fun. I was very glad to get to sleep next to Nick that night, and wake up to a lovely, warm, Hampden Saturday. We went to Soup's On, and for once, they had stuff that I liked and that was delicious (black bean soup and mustard-vinegarette potato salad.), Nick was happy with the chicken noodle, and we then walked from the house to Druid Hill Park, and around the lake about twice. That was a lot of walking, but it was awesome. Then back to mine for me to get cleaned up, then back to Hampden for Nick to do the same, then we went to dinner with his parents to Jack's Bistro. I enjoyed it more this time, got the crab cake (amazing). The purple potatoes are like sweet potatoes, good, but a little too filling, so I didn't eat them all. Asperagus was good, as was the deconstructed and grilled Caesar salad, although the grilling thing was kind of weird, made the lettuce wilted in parts. Nick had the Guiness braised filet mignon again (rare, had a little piece, very good, but I couldn't eat a whole steak being that red.) Meal was wonderful, Nick's parents being very congradulatory about the job (I really hope that it all pans out.). Went to a black club in Randallstown for one of Nick's co-workers B-day parties afterwards. Interesting, another one of those things where we were among the only white people there. Wound up at The Wind-up (haha) afterwards. Despite not getting home till probably after two, and not falling asleep till after three, we both woke up around 9:40 and couldn't sleep anymore. Got an early start, in the best way, went to Slainte for lunch (so many doggies out in Fells!!), saw myriad things that I wanted at Soundgarden, but purchased none, went to Nick's parents' for a bit, then took a walk, although, not quite an epic one, then dinner at B. It was very good, as usual. Had the organic greens salad to start, then the house ravioli with their wonderful marinara (no sage brown butter, though), and the ice cream plate. Got the hazelnut and the surprisingly awesome beet, and tried the olive oil, which ended up being sweet, and other than a little aftertaste of olive oil and the oily filmy kind of texture, never would have thought that it was olive oil ice cream. Nick had a chilled carrott soup to start, then the chicken panini with fingerling potatoes, then the creme brule for desert. I do enjoy that restaurant. He and Rob were going out for a Guys' Night. Once Carmin got home from work, she and I watched a documentary on Hitler's relatives before retiring for the eveing. We have someone supposed to be coming out to look at the house this evening. Hope we can find someone decent to be the third roomate. Rob got accepted to grad school, so we are going out to celebrate that later on. Will be glad to see Nick later.

"My Ambition Is Handicapped By Laziness."

Pretty miserble today. It's raining, supposed to do it all weekend, even in Philly, so that sucks. I was hoping to be able to walk most places and just in general have it be nice weather. Even if it's overcast, I would rather it not rain. All of my damn leads with jobs seem to be going out the window. The one in Lutherville has been filled, Advanced has none, but check back in a couple of weeks, there should be two opening up, there is one in Greenspring that I really want, but it will probably go to someone internally. I should know on that one by tomorrow. Trish said that they don't need me to come back since they have people to fill in, but I told tracey to put it out there to the doc's that I want to come back. Damn, I should have had my head examined. More bullshit to contend with. Went to the library yesterday. Re-read Factotum in one sitting last night waiting for Carmin to get home from work. I am realising that with the exception of the fondness for ugly, aged whores, I have an awful lot of similarities with Henry Chinaski. Not sure whether this is a good thing haha. Went to The Ottobar Tuesday night. Rob came out even though he was tired. We had a full table. It was really nice to get to sleep next to Nick after us sleeping on the separate couches at his parents' last weekend. Chris came over to get an idea of what all he and Rob are going to do to fix the basement up, and he ended up fooling around with the valves and the radiators, and now all of the bedrooms get heat and the shower gets decent water pressure, so needless to say, that made me very happy for later on. Will be glad to see Nick later on and imbibe some beverages. Why not, it's not like I have a job to go to tomorrow, or an interview for that matter (and I was really hoping for one, too. No sarcasm, I really was.).

Still unemployed. Thought for a moment that there was a lead maybe from M.I.B., but then today the lady emailed me back and said that something fell through. Damn it. I called Tracey today, left a message. Waiting for her to call back. Want to test the waters for how likely it would be for Trish to find something for me at the old homestead--- I am ready to fucking beg. I'm serious, I have no trouble taking a big old slice of humble pie--- as Uriah Heap said in David Copperfield, I have developed a taste for it. I'm very contrite, and wish to get back to where I honestly do feel that I belong. The other place never felt like home, or even like it would become home. I should have had my fucking head examined. Anyways, I'm not holding my breath, but if I could just hear from one of the other Radiology places. My car is at the shop, got an oil change, and, just as I suspected, the breaks were in fact fucked and would need replacing. Just the back ones, but still is set to cost $500. Hopefully I can get Dad to reimburse me for it, he offered if I need help with anything. I know that I should have gone with them this weekend to see my grandfather, but it just sets me on edge, and while I have nothing but tender feelings for him, what do I care if the rest of the family think I'm a bad grandchild? I owe them nothing and expect someday after my dad and Mary are gone, I will carry on just as I have. No hard feelings, but no need to be close. Anyways, have to pick the car up later, Carmin is going to take me. Will be glad if she and I can hang out for a bit. Concerned over how things will be once we don't live together anymore. Will have to make more of an effort. I said that I would treat her to dinner if she takes me to get my car. Really, I should be fucking fasting. You would think that unemployment and poverty would, if nothing else, aid in my seemingly futile quest to lose weight. Hasn't happened yet. Spent the weekend at Nick's parents' while they were in New York. Hit The Wind-up Friday night after a very good dinner we made of four cheese ravioli with white truffle olive oil (shit, left that at the house), marinara, shredded cheese, garlic bread, and then (very bad) cookies and cream ice cream. After getting obliteratingly drunk, went to Papermoon with Lori, Christina, and Cintya. Papermoon grilled cheese--- as good as it is when you're sober, it's twice as good when you're drunk. It had been a long time. Saturday, took an epic walk, from Hampden, through Roland Park, up to Guilford, through Sherwood Gardens, down the entire length of the Hopkins campus, past Wyman Park, down 29th and then up to Keswick, and back into Hampden. got Chinese food with Sam that evening for dinner. Found that I really like the eel sushi (so much so, that I got an order for myself last night when Nick's parents got back and wanted Chinese food.). The Wind-up was doing their Britpop Danceparty, got Lori and some of her friends out for that, but sadly nobody else. But it was so much fun. There was a moment whilst dancing that I really wanted to say, "This is it, this is what I live for." People were probably laughing at us, fuck 'em. Yesterday went to Druid Hill. Walked around the lake, used the equiptment, had the Chinese food. Bought a dress today at Ross, I know, I know, I'm broke, but tried it on when I got home, and boy, if it isn't cute. Good buy that. Will be glad to see Nick later and go to Club Charles.

Unemployment And Shit

Boy, it has been a while since I have updated. Well, I quit my job at that awful place. I knew that it was coming, them firing me, but I got the jump on them and fucking quit. I laid into that manager, too. The big boss and her called me into the office and I let them have it. I told her to her face that she is the most passive-aggressive person and least professional supervisor that I have ever seen, and called her out on her shit to Lynn, I hope I got her in trouble. Anyways, walking out, felt like a huge fucking weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Now I just have to find something new, something better, something that will not make me want to kill myself everyday. I so regret leaving St. Joe's. I will kick myself everyday for that. Since I have been unemployed (it has been since March 10), I have been toiling away applying for jobs online and making calls, trying to set up contacts, catching up on myriad things that have fallen by the wayside, and trying to sort things out with moving later this year. I am going to be living in the house on 36th, with Nick, at his insistance, and while I was apprehensive, he was not budging on wanting to stay there (as opposed to my house), or budging on wanting us to live together. I hope it goes well. I feel like I did learn a lot from the experience with Farley. I will have my own room and will have the rest of the house to furnish, as well, although I am still trying to figure out where I am going to put all of my stuff, since I just have so much. Nick says that it will be "our house," which I rather like. It'll get figured out. There still needs to be determined who the third person wil be, since Christina and Cyntia decided that it would be too many people for them both to live there, which I can't say I disagree with. So, being without a job has atleast afforded me the time to catch up on a lot of stuff that I have been wanting to do, from getting rid of stuff and going to the Salvation Army, to paying off bills (although now I am starting to get concerned about the whole lack of paycheck thing.). In true Withnail and I form, I am unemployed and going away on holiday next week (Philly for the weekend to see Gaslight Anthem.). Will be trying to conserve funds as much as possible, although it would certainly be made easier if Carmin could provide me with some assistance with our joined expenses. She and Allen are moving to a house nearby the beginning of May (well, he'll be there then, she'll be out of here by the end of May, and be paying double rent for some of that time. How they are going to do this is beyond me. I will miss living with her, but I guess that this is the normal progression of things. We both felt like this was the opportunity to seize, and I myself, feeling apprehensive, also do not want to kick myself in the future for passing it up.). I wish I were like Ray Liotta in Goodfellas, or that I was married to a gangster. Not really, but damn it, I'm tired of working, having nothing to show for it, and being miserable. Anyways, been out and about. Got to see Morrissey last Saturday, which was me and Nick's one year anniversary. We went to the BMA (like last year), then to dinner at Annabelle Lee, where Kurt, the owner, comped our bill for two Raven cocktails for the occasion, then we went to D.C.. The show was amazing. The old man still has it. Leaving the parking garage, of all the people there in this other city, guess who was parked about ten cars down from us? Rob and Melanie. I just thought that was ridiculous. Nick said that for a couple that claim to be trendsetters or whatever, they seem to be stalking us. I found that to be amusing. Staying at Nick's parents' house this weekend to dogsit since they are going to New York. Pop-Pop is in the hospital, which is upsetting to me, but I agree with my step-mom that that is the best place for him right now. Breaks my heart, God, I don't want to get old. I will be glad to see Nick later and start the weekend.

Back in this place this morning. Knowing not what horrors await me, I am planning on informing them that I will not be in on Friday, using that day to totally get my shit in order (actually, it is also my goal for the rest of the week leading up to then to get my shit in order. Basically, my entire purpose for all the time is to get my shit in order.). Had a lovely weekend. Friday, Nick and I went to The wind-up with Rob to meet George for the first time. He was charm personified and Angel was practically all over him, not in a scandelous way, just in an unable to deny the pull they have for eachother kind of way, Rob really being a gentleman and trying to be corgial to George, but him understandably uncomfortable. Everyone got drunk, Nik was obliterated and I think I had six vodka and pineapples, which I have never done before, but felt great the next day. Love that pineapple and vodka, baby!! It's funny to me how some people who aren't related and maybe don't even look a lot alike can have such similarities to evoke the idea that they are in fact related. Nick and Rob are like that. A number of people have thought that they are brothers, even though they don't look especially alike, just maybe a similar complexion (dark hair, olive skin kind of thing). Anyways, had fun Friday. Saturday, spring finally seemed to have made a return. It was so lovely, that immediately made me feel better. We went to Fells (along with everybody else in the city, it seemed. Hampden, too, was crawling with localsand tourists alike.), went to Slainte for fish and chips, then to Soundgarden, then the park. Walked around the lake (two and a half miles). Went up to Pheoebe's that evening. Rob played a set of Savory James songs solo acoustic, and Matt Kelly and Todd's band, Pirate Island, who I had never heard before, but boy, were they awesome. Not at all what I was expecting, but fucking cool. Alt-country, actually, or Neutral Milk Hotel. Very good. Stayed there till after ten,but the night was still young, so then to The Wind-up, but being that Nick had consumed almost an entire bottle of creme sherry and two Natty Boh's, the one kosher Boh at The Wind-up pretty much did him in, so we made it an early night. Sunday, there was a super long walk from Hampden through Roland Park to Guilford, through Sherwood Gardens, then back to Hampden. Ate at Bella Roma twice haha. Monday was shit at work, the ice was getting thin and I was getting more perturbed.

Monday there was a small blizzard, so no school, hence no work for Nick. I had gone home Sunday night and wasn't planning on killing myself to get to work on Monday if it did snow, but they ended up closing the office, which is awesome, because it doesn't count as a call-out and we all still get paid. All of the patients would have cancelled anyways. By the afternoon it was clearing up enough that Carmin and I could go out for coffee and then I went to Club Charles with Nick that evening. I read a great deal of The Watchmen during the day, but that's about all. Had fun at Club Charles. Drank pineapple and vodka's (new drink), had a shot of something called Breidenjager or something like that--- it's a honey liquor. Pretty good, definately would work to replace real honey in a hot toddy, increase one's intake of medicinal alcohol. Anyways, Tuesday night went to the Ottobar. Just Rob, Nick, and myself holding it down. There was an unexpected almost dance-off with that horrible girl that wears all the fur and some guy friend of her's. I think that we won haha. Bit of fun, not enough hours of lovely sleep, Wednesday, felt like absolute shit. Stupid cough is back, read some, then, incredibly depressed, slept till morning. Swigging NighQuil, drunk, ill, and miserable, stumbling into the bathroom at around 9, hollered down to Carmin that I was just staying in bed for the night. Vowed to start things better on Thursday. Feel like my life is spiraling out of control, my hatred for this job, my regret for leaving the old one, my OCD, my inability to get myself to fucking DO things that need to be done but render me anxiety-ridden, then even more depressed. I have two parking tickets to be sent in, myriad bills (where the money to pay them is is beyond me.), my fucking weight and compulsive eating is ridculous (been on a bender. That's probably the one most depressing me, my lack of control or influence on my own fucking body.). Nick did get tickets to see The Watchmen at The Senator last night. I finished the book literally right as Carmin was coming through the door (she and Allen were going to the midnight showing at White Marsh.). I really enjoyed it. Enjoyed the movie, although it was not perfect. It came pretty close though in parts, which is probably the most vexing part, that it came so close to doing things perfectly. Looking forward to discussing it with everybody. Got about four hours of sleep last night, it was so nice laying in bed this morning, will be very glad to get to do more of that for the weekend. Hit The Wind-up early last night, saw Holy, had three vodka and pineapple juices, left when some shitty, dischordant, art school fucks took to the stage and started making a racket. Had to stop in Crush at Belvedere Square to use the toilets and had a drink there, then over to the movie. Despite the mere four hours of sleep, woke up feeling good, refreshed even. Guess it's that thing of getting so few hours is almost like a revitalising nap. At the risk of doing what I always do (start out with good intentions and total resolve, only to fuck it up and revert to my bad old ways, compounding my feelings of failure and hopelessness), I do feel motivated this morning, if for no reason than the fact that it is warmer, and getting up into the seventies this weekend, and that it is the weekend, motivated to do better.

Despite this motivation and positive attitude, as I suspected "The Micromanager" had other plans, writing me up and wielding the most preposterous and offensive of allegations, and informing me that I am on a one month probation, whatever that means. I know that I need to get out of here, but how does one find something when all of one's time is taken up by this bullshit? Anyways, despite this, I am still motivated and envigerated by the good weather and weekend. Hopefully, things can get sorted. Lord, I am ready for something wonderful.

The Top Chef finale was a damn joke. Stefan was robbed, and worse than that, was that that weasel Hosea that won. Seriously, when it seemed like Stefan wasn't going to win, I thought that Carla would be the next contender. But no such luck. Eh, what can you do? I'm sure that Hosea will go back to Colorado and despite the win, continue on a career filled with metiocrity. Went to The Wind-up Thursday night. Met up with Lori and Rob. Nick and I stopped at Subway on the way home. Been a while since we did that. Slept in Hampden. Borrowed The Watchmen. I have strick orders to read the book by this weekend when the movie comes out. I am about a third of the way done now, and have looked some stuff up online to familiarize myself with it. It's very engrossing, but also complicated, but I am enjoying it. Hope to get it read by Thursday (doubtful), since Nick said that he would like to go to a midnight showing, although that would put us at 3 o'clock to get home (it's a two and a half hour movie), but it's not like that has never happened. Went to Underground, or its new incarnation at Fletcher's, Brilliant, Friday night. God, I do enjoy dancing. Slept in Saturday. Got coffee, then took a walk, then headed to mine. Hung out there a while, got ready to go to dinner with Nick's parents. We went to a place called Jack's Bistro in Canton. Pretty good, specialising in soude vede cooking, which is kind of ironic considering Carla's undoing by the "bag-cooking" in the finale this week. We started with shrowstring fries with demi glaze and foie gras sauce (wasn't crazy about that, but there were no solid bits.), with some cheese dispersed throughout. It was pretty good, reminded me very much of a fancy version of gravy fries (hmmm, gravy fries. Been a long time. Cafe Hon...). Nick got his own starter which was a tuna tartar with tomato and jalapeno. I was all set to have the crab cake on the menu, but then opted for the much cheaper chopped filet mignon burger. That proved to be very delicious, if a little too filling on account of the huge kaiser roll it was on. Didn't care too much for the fries, but that was only because of their size. I like a more substantial potato. Anyways, Nick got a filet mignon, rare, although, he did give me a piece, the most well-done of it, and it was pretty damn delicious. Completely different texture, melted in your mouth. That came with grits, which I find to be horrible and repulsive, and asparagus. The asparagus was good. Nick's mom got scallops, and is dad had the soude vede pork chop, amazingly moist and very, very good. The dessert may have pushed it over the edge with what they billed as "fried s'mores," because later on, I felt sick. I think it was from over-eating and then Nick and I mucking about terrorizing eachother. Did check out the David Lynch Fest at The Wind-up, but it ended up not being that awesome. It was packed, which is alright, but it ended up being a damn "Twin Peaks" fest. Just about everything represented was about Twin Peaks, saw nothing referencing Blue Velvet or Wild At Heart (my favourites of his), no Eraserhead hair, nothing for anything hardly other than Twin Peaks (or the film version, Fire Walk With Me.). Lori came out and we ran into that kid Davis, and Holly was in costume and won the Twin Peaks Trivia contest, but all in all, I was glad to go home. Sunday, had some lunch at Common Ground, then took a walk up to the Rotunda and back. Went to B later on for dinner. Lovely meal, on the cheap by our standards (and by the majority of the menu's standards, as well.). Began with the Caesar salad and baby octopus (give ya one guess who had what haha), then Nick had the chicken panini (terribly good, would definately order that) and I had the margherita pizza. I had that the first time there, but this time it was better, different. A little more deconstructed last time, more spinach and cheese this time, delicious. For dessert, I got their ice cream platter, with an unexpected find, red beet ice cream. I was a little leary, but the waitress said how good it was, so I got that along with the hazelnut and Nuttella flavours. I love B's ice cream. Didn't get my cappuccino, but I did have a Kasteel Rouge. Nick had creme brule, just basic, nothing amazing, but good (atleast it wasn't that orange and basil one.). Very good meal, excellent atmosphere, the snow falling outside the giant windows on the sleeping brownstones of Bolton Hill.

Disclaimer, If You Will

I realize that my posts read like a cheap, rambling, redundant, and shallow recounting of bars hopped and meals consumed. Rest assured that the introspective shit is simply not making it on here. The eyes of the world (or potential for people to read it, I don't actually think that anyone does, but the fact that someone, stranger or not, could stumble upon it) need not know all the inner musings. This coupled with the fact that I am now in a position where when I get the chance to update, it has to be quickly and consisely. It's really to serve me, anyways, to aid me in remembering experiences, to provide a little something to jog my memory, and access everything stored there.

Last Thursday, went to The Wind-up, however, they had some African drum jazz sax beat poetry crap, so we left after one drink and went down to Club Charles where we met Rob, and randomly Steph and Kyle who were there with Stu and Tyler. Had two delicious Jeremy white Russians, Nick drove my car, slept there, then left when he went to work, slept at home till 10:30 when Carmin got up and we took all of that stuff to the Good Will. After dropping that off, we got a bagel and coffee, then purchased a new dish drainer (crazy times). She had to get ready for that event from work that her and Allen were going to that evening. I bummed around at the mall till it was time to get ready for the 60's Girl Groups thing at the Sidebar. That was a lot of fun, although it started out ridiculously packed and unbearable. Bill came out, but wasn't feeling it, so he left early on. I felt bad, since this was my idea, and he had been excited about it (there were a lot of older people there that knew Matt from The City Paper, so atleast he felt good about not being the oldest person there.). Rob and his brother came out, as did Lori. Nick and I danced so much. Once The Motorettes played, the place cleared out enough where one could dance comfortably. Rob and Melanie showed up, I think just because of City Paper people. Whatever, we were there because we are actually into that kind of music. Hit The Wind-up afterwards, saw Angel and that guy George and Chrissy. Went back to Hampden, slept in. Saturday got coffee and then lunch at Soup's On. Still haven't had a soup there that I like, but eh. Took a walk, hung out at mine, went to dinner with Nick's parents at Annabelle Lee. Really, really good, once again. We got some appetizers for the table to share (the crabdip pizza and sweet potato fries, both delicious.), Nick got a bowl of their soup of the day (corn bisque with duck and chicken, very good for the corn, not crazy about the idea of the duck.). I opted for the crab and corn quesadilla, which was very nice, although I could have done with some sour cream, and Nick got his Kobe beef sliders topped with pulled pork. Everyone enjoyed their food, and I began my meal with a nice, big Raven cocktail, which didn't hurt. Nick and Rob did a guys' night and I hung out with Victor then went back to Hampden. Sunday was a nice, lazy day, although we did one productive thing in walking to the Giant and getting stuff to make lunch (Italian sausage filled cheese tortolini with white truffle olive oil, marinara, and parmasean, and garlic bread.), then watched Spinal Tap and more MST shorts. Ate dinner at Golden West, but I was a little underwhelmed with the food. I called out of work on Monday (very bad, I know.). Went to Vogue, hopefully I get some money for those clothes. Got coffee and a bagel at Common Ground. Went to Club Charles that evening. Rob met us, we got the V.I.P. Room. They went to a Capitals' game in D.C. yesterday, but got back in time to go to The Ottobar. Carmin and Allen came out, which was a real treat. They said that they had fun, and it was just really nice to have them there. Christina came out, too. Right before we left, they played A Town Called Malice, so we had no choice but to dash to the dancefloor. Rob kept giving us a hard time for making out. Had gone to dinner with Dad and Mary to Bertucci's. They gave me $300, which I really appreciate, but then my dad gave me shit about my tattoos, and an couple of other things that bothered me. Even after he tempered it with explaining and saying that he just doesn't want me to have any disadvantages, it still bothered me. Anyways, new Top Chef tonight, it is the finale. Hope Stefan makes it work (to quote Tim Gunn and combine my reality favourites.). Will be glad to see Nick tomorrow. Have to get those tickets for The Kills in Philly in May, too. Nick is going to get the ones for Robyn Hitchcock in D.C.. Hope they are all still available.

Uncorrected Personality Traits

Last Thursday was Smiths/Morrissey Karaoke. It was fabulous, atleast as far as we were concerned haha. Bill was there, of course, in full Moz regalia (got new NHS glasses for the occasion.). There really wasn't a whole lot of other people who sang, a few, but for the most part, it was Bill, Nick, and myself, which was alright. I sang I Don't Mind If You Forget Me and then I Want The One I Can't Have. It was a lot of fun (more fun than usual, actually. Don't know why.). Nick sang The More you Ignore Me. He wanted us to sing Interlude, but they didn't have it. They had this stupid recreation of the Assasination Of Abraham Lincoln, which took time away from the karaoke, then a cover band from D.C. played, and soon after, we left to go to The Wind-up. I didn't drink anything there, because I had already consumed enough at Ottobar during their $2 rail drink time. By the time we got back, he was well gone. Rob came out to karaoke, which was fun. I think he is just glad to go someplace so as not to have to run into Angel and George. Anyways, Friday we went to Club Charles. Met Lori. She was very cold to Angel when we saw her and Rob later. Things kind of came to a head about that. It was a fun night otherwise. Nick and I went back to mine, slept in on Saturday. Went to Hampden for lunch (had the WORST broccoli and cheese soup at Soup's On, they were good enough to take it off the bill.). Got coffee first, then walked to St. Mary's Cemetary. Saw some awesome tombstones, really old ones, angel statues, and one with the name that Nick says he wants to use as his alias, Osbourne P. Uppercue. It was fun. Plan on going back and taking pictures. We had dinner reservations for Abercrombie for 9:15. Initially, it seemed like it was going to be a disaster, since they were out of my first and second choices on the regular menu, and then the prix fix Valentine's Day menu didn't have the mac and cheese on it, but I wanted that one wy or the other, and nothing really jumped out, but I ended up selecting the halibut. It ended up being such a blessing that they were out of everything else, because this was one of the best meals I have ever had there or anywhere. Nick started with foie gras (gross), I got the mac and cheese (which was great, but less cheesy than usual). They had bacon wrapped scallops, so needless to say, he devoured that, my halibut was cooked and seasoned perfectly. It came on top of a garbonzo bean mash with spinach. So Good!! Nick's came with an apple fennel puree (the foie gras came with something like stewed apples, too. Surprised he ate and liked them.). For dessert, Nick had chocolate pound cake with cherry preserves. A little dry, but alright. I was thrilled with the raspberry pistashio tea cake. It was not too rich, very good. That came with a little shot glass of Chamborge Italian soda. We had a bottle of wine, and then Nick surprised me at the end of dinner with Champagne. It was an absolutely awesome dinner. Then went to The Wind-up, met Rob, then home. When at Common Ground on Sunday, ran into Carmin who was waiting for Dainty. Chatted for a bit, then to Five Guys for lunch, then Nick's parents', then on a quest for a nose hair trimmer which took us to Target and then an Ultra Mega Walmart Supercenter, and we were scarred emotionally and came out shellshocked. Back to Hampden, Christina came down and joined us for dinner at Golden West. Don't normally do anything on Sundays, but there was supposed to be a Britpop Indie Dance Party at The Depot that night. Went to check it out, reaffirmed why I go in that dubious place like once a year. Club Charles Monday night, lovely time sitting at the bar. Made it an early night. Came over early yesterday to watch Man On Wire. Ridiculous, I am so scared of heights, this blew my mind! Then to Ottobar with Rob, Vic, Kyle, and Kristy. Nick and I danced a good deal, pretty good music. Would have loved to sleep at Nick's, but had no work clothes. Got the new Morrissey album yesterday. It's pretty good, some real gems and strong lines. Definately better than Ringleader, although that had some terribly good songs scattered throughout, as well. Thinking of purchasing the Robyn Hitchcock tickets for D.C. today. I am loathe to go to D.C. in general (Ok, so 9:30 and The Black Cat aren't too bad, but still.), and this would be on a Thursday, but, it is a cool opportunity. Maybe I can take off the next day. Nick really liked that I got him I Often Dream Of Trains and the first Gaslight albums for Heart Day. I'm enjoying hearing them, too. Top Chef tonight. Down to the final four, I believe. Will be glad to see Nick tomorrow.

Slipping, I know. Internet police at work. Last Thursday, Wind-up. Met Rob and Lori. In a rare change, Nick and Lori discussed Top Chef whilst Rob and I talked about Elliott Smith. Had reservations for Bicycle on Friday. Fucking amazing, as usual. Got a bottle of Chardonay to start, the roasted corn and blue crab soup, Nick got his sashimi tuna tartar, then their fabulous salmon with mashed potatoes and veggies (asparagus, baby!!), Nick went with meat trio (barbequed short ribs, Blue Moon braised tenderloin, and Yukatan pulled pork), with mac and cheese (good, but still not Abacombie.). For dessert, there was the vanilla creme brule and a chocolate cannoli (from the Taste Of Ullswater menu.). Anyone who uses the word vanilla to mean "boring" has never had this creme brule. The flavours change as you're savouring it, and the aftertaste changes yet again. Incredible. Intense vanilla, complex. Cannoli was not Vacarro's, but it was no slouch. Would be second to Cinghale's panna cotta with the "Multiple Orgasm Cookie." Yes, the meal was outstanding. The wine, however, made me very sleepy, so after going back to Nick's parents' to let the pups out, he drove us down to Annabel Lee to meet Rob and Angel. Had one Masque Of The Red death and one Raven cocktail, somehow ended up not drunk, but normal and not sleepy like I had been. It was a lot of fun and at one point Rob was imitating this guy he knows and said the funniest line, "I did a line of blow from here to Arbutus." Maybe you had to hear it in context. Anyways, back to Lutherville to sleep till noon, Nick made lunch (seriously, too much damn eating.), then in classic, healthy style, I went back to bed (well, sofa) till three when we went back out my way to buy beer for the moving in party at Racer's and for me to get ready. Back to Hampden to The Wine Source then Chinese (again with the eating!!), then a nap in the livingroom while Nick read and we waited for people to start arriving. Ended up being a small gathering, but it was fine. Lori was the first one there. Finally got to hear about her date from Thursday (eh). Got ridiculously drunk, broke the cardinal rule about beer before liquor (never even drink beer, but this was Kasteel Rouge, the only kind I like, then champagne, then more champagne, then a superfluous and erroneous bit of vodka and Coke.). Nick was ill and all, but this was after everyone had left and felt fine by morning. Stumbled down to Common Ground for coffee and lunch, then proceeded to do absolutely nothing all day. Watched every episode of Sunny Season 3, bit of fun, then took Nick to his mom's to get his car and he made tortolini. Stayed there till midnight watching The Grammy's and Granada documentaries on rare medical conditions. Monday Annabel Lee with Christina then Club Charles. Nick trying to convince me to apply at Sheppard Pratt for what he does, although I'm not convinced that I could or would want to do what he does. I just feel like I need to maybe be in a different field and definately in a different environment (one where it's not like Nazi Germany and I don't have to feel like I am one person at work and one person when not.). Anyways, stayed in Hampden. Tuesday I met Mom and Tony for dinner at El Salto then hit Ottobar. Started drinking vodka and tonics, and I intend to keep it up (have to cut out the caffiene from Diet Coke.). Thought it would just be us holding it down, since Rob was busy, and Lori and Vic were both not feeling well, but Christina, Cintya, and Tyler showed up later. There was another weird crowd, more hipster douchebags and people in ridiculous get-ups, so much so, that Nick says a couple more weeks of this, and Twofer may have to be abandoned. Hope it doesn't come to that. They played a lot of soul and motown, danced a great deal. The weather has been fucking amazing the last couple of days. It's been warm and wonderful and I honestly feel like I am coming back to life. I know that it will get cold again (it is only February), but it has been a welcome respite. Yesterday, watched Top Chef. Got a little scary, Stefan in the bottom again, but he didn't get eliminated, which was good. Finally Leah is gone, and I severely underestimated Carla. She is a dark horse and really coming into her own. Tonight is Smith/Morrissey karaoke. Very excited. Think I may do I Don't Mind Of You Forget Me. Have to remember to charge my camera battery when I get home so I can take pictures. We saw on Tuesday that World/Inferno is coming back to Ottobar again on April 24. Bought tickets yesterday, yeah, baby!! Have to wrap Nick's Valentine's pressies (first Gaslight album and Robyn Hitchcock's I Often Dream Of Trains.). He gave me my pressie on Sunday. He saw it while we were in 9th Life and said to wrap it up before I saw it. It's a necklace with the tradidional tattoo motif of the anchor with a banner that says, "Stewed, Screwed, And Tattooed." I was very happy, that goes without saying. I will be glad to see Nick later and "sing my life" at the karaoke.

That's When I Reach For My Revolver

Hating work, feeling very much like I want to do something--- anything, outside of healthcare. Convinced though that I will never be able to break into any other kind of business since this is where all of my experience lies and I don't know anybody who can help me to get my foot in the door to do anything else (and that's what it really comes down to, knowing somebody.). Also the lack of the ubiquitous and unnecessary four-year degree. Kind of wish that I had just set my ass right where I was at the hospital, in my nook, but I am convinced that they would have gotten rid of me with one more minor bullshit slip-up, or maybe with the cutting more positions that they are doing again. I don't know. I wish something wonderful would fall in my lap or somehow I would get a lead on something (I have no problem doing the leg-work or searching around, I just would like to find something to begin with.). That, or win the lottery. I very nearly walked out again yesterday, in tears, and considered not going in today (hoped that the snow would be more substantial, but as it turned out, got here about 8:20.). Living beyond my means as it is, couldn't very well be unemployed without an immediate and definate replacement, but, God, I really want out. Carmin has been expressing similar concerns, hers for the economy and the eliminating of hours and things within retail, and the fact that she, too, feels unqualified, or that she would be deemed unqualified, for anything else since all of her experience is in retail managing (specifically the book industry). It's a shite state of affairs. Felt very bad yesterday, after watching a tiny bit of television whilst eating (polished off about a third of a box of Honey Nut Cheerios for dinner--- that's what we call "spite eating."), I went to bed, and when she came up to ask if I wasn't going to hang out with her, I apologised, but ultimately stayed in bed. Overslept to go over Nick's for Twofer. Didn't even feel like going really, but like Nick said when I was lamenting to him, we always have fun when we go there, and it is true. Monday found us at at Club Charles discussing the trip to Philly and hopefully a full week sometime in the summer there or New York, or ideally (and least likely), England. Jamie made us flaming shots of Goldschleiger, for free and out of boredom. Never had that before, but it was very good. Somehow managed to be the last people in there again, then back to Hampden where things got a little ridiculous and furniture was damaged. Not even as a joke, and it sounds so cliche, but somehow we actually managed to break the new bedframe. This is hilarious and should be able to be fixed, but it is kind of embarassing (which is why I chose to broadcast it here!!). Diet has been piss-poor this week. Somehow, the scale here in the office now says an abominable 128. Haven't started those Acai Berry pills yet. A little leary, even though the pharmacist said that they would not interact with my med's. Nick was talking about maybe doing HydoxyCut. Last night at Ottobar, Victor and company came out, along with Rob, saw some other characters, more examples of "Small-timore." Going to dinner tonight with Mom and Tony for Tony's B-day. They are going to lunch with Miss Joanne today, too. I really should hang out with Josh some time soon, especially now that he is twenty-one and can go out. Finally supposed to see Dad and Mary tomorrow for dinner, as well. Top Chef tonight. Will be glad to see Nick tomorrow and be closer to the weekend.

This One's From The Heart

Back to work today. Some snow supposed to be later and an inch or so's worth by tomorrow. Will determine whether I come in or not. Regretted bothering last Wednesday after no one else came in and it was as bad as it was out. Wondering if there are any jobs available with The Pennysaver. This publication provided numerous laughs for Nick and I yesterday, and spelling errors were the source of several. That and their arbitrary bold letters of the first three words of the ad no matter what it says. For example, after skimming down several blocks advertising sofas and entertainment centers and exercise equiptment, there was an ad for "Erectile Dysfuntion Can." Nevermind that the ad actually read, "Erectile Dysfunction Can be corrected, try this product, blah blah blah." Hilarious. That was how a good bit of Sunday was spent, a Myth Busters Marathon and golf watching at my house, with simultaneous Penny Saver perousing, before heading to Chris' parents' for the Superbowl (Pittsburgh are a bunch of cheaters and dirty players and the NFL refs are clearly on their payroll--- this from a novice. Nick said that I have learned quick this year and that he is very proud of me haha.) Friday went to Fletcher's for their Underground thing. It was so much fun, very much like the original. Bill came out and even danced quite a bit, which was great. Music was spot-on, Rob came out and had fun, I think, in spite of himself. Nick and I danced, and even though I only had three vodka and diets my standard nightly intake, really), I got obliteratingly drunk, we both did, and had to stop at Brick Oven Pizza. It was good though, since traffic in Fell's at closing time was ridiculous (reminding me again why I rarely frequent that part of the city at night), and B.O.P. is always delicious. Saw in there, of all people, Pittsburgh, what a douche, fatter and older looking than ever. Makes me shudder. Think he saw me, neither said anything, and why on earth would we? After two amazing slices of pizza, I was feeling much better, headed back to Hampden. Saturday we went to Common Ground and Soup's On then to my house for a little bit. While I do like Rob's house and I adore Nick's room there, my initial feelings of jealousy have subsided, and now I am entranced by how fucking huge my house is, and virtually uncluttered (for the most part). The open space is very accomodating to fits of wrestling and terrorizing eachother. Ventured to Nick's parents' house where he made a new mix on the computer and I hung around while his parents played with their new I-Phones. Went back to Hampden then to Paper Moon for dinner. Grilled cheese, how I love thee!! Convinced Rob to go to Annabell Lee with us. Good time, I guess I should be grateful for things that were said and not get hung up on other things. I am trying to not let things bother me in such a way. Had some nice cocktails, the Raven and The Maque Of The Red Death, then cut across the city from Highlandtown to Hampden. Slept in, then for coffee and bagels. When I came home last night, there was a very drunk and disheveled Allen sitting in the livingroom, soon to be flanked by an exhausted Carmin. Allen was particularly gregarious and I tried to hurry him along if only for Carmin's sake so that she could get some rest. Club Charles later. Feel like a lot of my posts are just recounting barhopping and lacking any real introspection that crosses my mind throughout the day. Weighed myself this morning here at work. Shock and horror. The weekend really was ridiculous, mainly the Superbowl Party yesterday.

Glad that the weekend is upon us. Went in late on Wednesday on account of the weather, then totally regretted it, since no one else really came in, and Nick texted me that he basically wondered around a snow-slumbering and virtually deserted Hampden, had a coffee at Common ground and then soup (red pepper and crab bisque!!) at Soup's On, then down to Atomic and True Vine (surprised, actually, that any of those places opened on such a day. I guess that it is probably because everybody who works in these places lives nearby). Terribly jealous, and also, just would have liked to spend the day bumming around with him. Watched Top Chef with Carmin. Can't believe that Jeff got voted off, thought that he would have made it to the top three, but I guess that he does tend to over-do things. Really shocked that Carla won, and that Stefan, my hands-down favourite, was in the bottom. But, eh, he is too good, I think. Rob texted me some about distancing himself from Angel. I know what he means, as in them just hanging out instead of sleeping together or doing couply things, but I still found it funny when yesterday Nick said that he was out having dinner with her. Anyways, went over there yesterday evening. We had dinner reservations for 8 at Petit Louis. It was very good, although I think that I am going to have to start specifying that I want my salmon cooked well, since this is like the fourth time that I have encountered salmon that I thought was raw in the middle. The waiter did say something about it being prepared medium, but I that that just how dark or crisp it was on the outside. Since this has happened before, maybe that is the traditional way to get salmon in a high-end restaurant unless otherwised specified. Bicycle is the only place that it has been fucking perfect right off the bat each time. I did enjoy the meal, though, and would go back for the full menu. Speaking of Bicycle, they are extending Restaurant Week, so we now have reservations there for next Friday. Hit The Wind-up after dinner. It was a weird crowd, looked like a lot of Towson and Green Turtle types, and Holly confirmed our suspicions that they were pretty much douchebags, and we wondered how the hell they found the place. Christina and Cintya came out. Went back to Hampden for a rather lovely time, Nick asked me to stay over, so I did, even though I didn't have clothes for work today, and somehow managed to leave there at 7, get home and changed and then got to work on time. Amazing. I actually was surprised at how well I looked this morning. Usually I think that I am aging horribly and all that, but today, I thought that I looked particuarly pretty. Vic texted me about whether the Lithowanian Hall was doing their soul night. I think they are. I would like to go to that, but we are going to Fletcher's for their version of Underground. Bill is supposed to come out, he better had. Slept very well last night and woke rested, surprisingly. Will be very glad to get out of here and see Nick. This week has been taxing in this place.

So the ice storm cameth. Went to Sotto Sopra last night. The snow and sleet had let up in the afternoon but started up again in the evening, and continued on all through the night, so today, everything is covered in a half an inch of ice. Very low turn out at The Ottobar last night, and for good reason. Only lunatics were out, people like us who should have our heads examined. Rob emt us. He was very talkative, and I appreciate that he said how much he enjoys talking to me and that he really values my insight. Taht means a lot to me. I just felt bad that I was talking and listening so much to Rob, I felt bad that I wasn't paying attention to Nick. I said something to him about it (he said it was one of those things where he has heard the same speeches, sometimes worse than others, many times before, so it's not anything new for him to hear.), and he said that it wasn't a problem. He was distracted by the television in the bar, so he was unbothered. I was glad for that, but still, I don't want to feel like I'm having too constant a heart to heart with Rob and neglecting Nick or being too bogged down by drama to enjoy my situation. Anyways, we still had fun. I think that nick and I tried to steer the conversation to more unlifting topics, even if it was the weather and their schools closing. Rob left after us, but I heard him come in the house after we had gone to sleep. Called my boss to say I would come in late, but there was no way I was leaving to come in at 8. Even at 11 when I did venture out, all of Hampden was a sheet of glass and I almost killed myself trying to walk uphill to get to my car and had absolutely no traction and slide back down. Took me a good while to clean the car off, had to reward myself with a bagel and coffee before heading into work at noon. Shouldn't have even bothered, almost everyone cancelled and only one other girl came in. Anyways, will be so glad when the nice weather starts. Top Chef tonight. Nick was planning on coming down to watch it since Rob doesn't have cable, but with the weather, don't know. It was nice to get to sleep next to him last night.

Winter Restaurant Week started, woo hoo!! Very excited. Went to The Wind-up Thursday, after not going to work for two days. Took off on Wednesday and called out on Thursday (very bad, I know.). Wednesday though, I took off to get stuff done, take the car for the emissions, got to hang out with Carmin. We went to Common Ground for coffee and bagels (so good!), dropped stuff off at the Salvation Army, then took Carmin back to meet Allen and I took the car for the emissions. Liberated me of $14--- bastards. Went to the mall, bummed around trying to spend giftcards from Christmas. Watched Top Chef, it was Resaturant Wars. Still don't think that Carla should have scraped through yet again, but I'm sure that her days on the show are numbered. Have this stupid cough that kept me up all night and never got any sleep, so I called out on Thursday. Slept in then went out to get my med's and some stuff for this cough, went to Grind On for a bagel and coffee (I swear that is one of my life's greatest joys, the going for a bagel and coffee excursion.) Went to The Wind-up Thursday evening. Rob hung out for a while. Drank two Irish coffees and one vodka and diet. Friday got a haircut after work (and a frap for dinner), then, shock and amazement!! Carmin came out with Nick and I to Club Charles. She drove down with us and all. It was awesome. I hope it spurs her to come out again soon. She enjoyed herself. I was very, very glad. I did overdo it though, in all of my excitement, and when I felt like shit the next day, I initially thought that I just had a hangover, but it became a full-blown migraine, and I was completely unable to go with Nick to help his parents moving his furniture into Rob's house. I felt better by 5, went out there, I love the house. I absolutely love the house. I'm jealous, of course, since it's an older house than mine, and it's in Hampden (not that I don't like my house, I do, just wish it were elsewhere.). Anyways, we left there after a bit, went back to the house for Nick to get dressed, and we went to dinner at Abacrombie. It was terribly good, as usual. Started with that fabulous mac and cheese (first foodgasm of the meal), Nick got a carrot soup. For the second courses, I got short ribs with mashed potatoes and spinach and carrots, Nick got the pork confit with apple butter and a celery mash, then for dessert we both got this espresso cake with chocolate sauce and vanilla cream (which I used in my coffee, French press, bitches!!). It was an amazing meal, as usual. Didn't get to see Jess, since they were so busy, but she did send Lucas out to say hello and ask if we liked everything. After dinner, we went over to Chris and Todd's on Barclay, sat around, smoked myriad cigs, Rob came over, saw Phoebe for a minute, then we headed to The Wind-up. Rob met us and stayed till he was too sleepy. They were doing their own Britpop Dance Party (Heartbreak Beat, whose Christian name is Edward, of Ottobar Twofer fame, was D.J.). It didn't pick up till close to midnight, if not a little later, before it took off, we were the first poeple to dance (to A Town Called Malice). It was fun. Angel came in later with that new guy that she's seeing. It was nice to see her, although the guy she met is nowhere near as good looking as Rob, honestly, I can't see why she would give him the time of day. It was fun, dancing, got some exercise, stayed till Russell put us out. Slept in on Sunday. Went over Nick's parents', watched a midget western called The Tiny Terror (all midget cowboys, riding minature ponies, very much like an old Gene Autry movie), then to dinner at a place on Howard called Night Of The Cookers. I didn't really enjoy it, Nick did moreso. Had a crab quesadilla to start, which was pretty good, Nick got a barbeque chicken mini pizza, swimming in barbeque sauce, then I got a piece of salmon with crab on top (eh, middling at best, salmon may not have been fully cooked) on rice which was nothing to write home about, Nick got short ribs, which were alright, but lacking flavour except for one very tasty piece, on top of cheese grits (now know that as I suspected, I do not like grits.). We both got asparagus, which was pretty good. I would say that without a doubt, the high point of the meal was dessert. Nick got what they called a mousse martini, a very thick chocolate mousse with bits of chocolate and whipped cream in a martini glass, and I got an espresso cake (must be the thing this season), a flourless torte with a chocolate graham cracker crust, very, very good. Not exactly my first choice to go back to, but, eh. Yesterday, Nick took off and got the rest of his stuff moved into Rob's. It's really nice, of course, I am jealous. Went over there and hung out a bit before hitting Club Charles, passed the time making asses of ourselves at the bar (zombie mode), making out and singing, and talking about Morrissey (got tickets for D.C.!!) and Gaslight. Went back to Rob's. Nick's room is so adorable, God, I love old houses. It is snowing today and is supposed to keep up and then turn to ice later on. Hoping to get over to Hampden after work alright. Don't know if where we were planning for dinner will be open (trying for Sotto Sopra), although, Paper Moon or Golden West would be lovely, as well. Anyways, wish they would let us out early. We've had cancelations, but not enough to close. Will be glad to get out of here and see Nick later.

Ravens and Raveonettes

Falling back into my bad old ways--- OCD and losing the plot again with eating. Really wish I could go to hypnosis or have some far more glamourous or benifitting addictions. That said, The Ravens lost to Pittsburgh yesterday. It is a big let-down, but we still got a lot further than everybody save three other teams, and we did better this season than anyone predicted. It's a shame. What's more disturbing is that hit that Willis McGahee took, it looked like two trains colliding into eachother. Yes, it became a very somber mood at Chris' parents' house last night. It was still fun, though. It had been a total Ravens weekend, albeit in a weird way. Friday night, Nick and Rob were going to do a Guy's Night, so I went up to The Barn since Victor said that there was a Rockabilly show there that night. I got there before him and was very pleased to find out that the opening band was The Motorettes, who are playing for that Girl Group Night at The Sidebar in February. So I enjoyed that. It was funny to see this bar, completely awash with everybody wearing everything Ravens, and the rest all greasers and pin-ups. Talked to Vic, met some more of the people in his car club, danced some (Victor re-taught me how to jitterbug, hadn't done it since Buba has been gone, but it came back to me. I'm really excited about that.). Got surprisingly drunk, sent suggestive texts back and forth to Nick. I was very glad when he got over the house. Needless to say, there was some pent up energy, and a lovely time ensued. I had to take Niley up to the vet's for his shot, but I was back and Nick was still asleep, so went back to bed, woke a while later, started the day in the best way, watched some QVC and HSN. Nick had the good idea to try Annabell Lee, a restaurant and bar in Canton that I've been meaning to go to. We went back to his for a bit, watched Obama's speech here in Baltimore (following some choice Cheap Seats.). Made our way to Canton. Annabell Lee is wonderful. It is, of course, named for the poem by Edgar Allan Poe, and the whole restaurant, which is a very cozy pub, is done on that theme. Verses from his poems and stories are scrawled on the walls, drinks are named for his writings, a great big portrait of the man himself hangs in the rear of the bar. Elsewhere, there are photos of Baltimore from years ago, some O's and Ravens and Natty Boh items, but it is all done complimentarily with the almost Victorian interior. So the atmosphere alone was awesome. There were about eight things that immediately jumped off of the page, and I had a hard time deciding. We did learn, however, that the Barbeque Chicken Nachos with applewood bacon (Nick's idea) is huge and, in my opinion, way too greasy. I got a delicious crabcake with a generous dip of mashed potatoes and asperagus. It was really pretty amazing. Nick got two sliders, Kobe beef topped with pulled pork (very good) with duck-fat fries (good, but not as good as Salt). We avoided dessert, but did indulge in some drinks. They have local brewery, Raven beer on tap, as well as a cocktail called "The Raven." It is the same thing as The Dead Poet in New York, the drink with the seven liquors in a secret recipe. So we know now, basically, what goes in that, as well. We hadn't thought of different flavoured vodkas counting, but, yeah, it's four different fruit flavoured vodkas, plus sours, white rum, some schnapps. Very good, but one of those drinks that doesn't even taste like alcohol, so it's easy to keep drinking and wind up completely fucked. I got "The Tell-Tale Tini," which was basically a chocolate espresso martini (Van Gough vodka, Godiva liquor, half and half, maybe some Kaluha for good measure.). Definately want to go back there, many more things to try and would like to bring people out. We left there and headed to D.C.. Had no trouble finding The Black Cat, sat in the back up on the tiers at a table (except for when we danced, which I would have done more of were it not for that damn carpet impeding my moves.). It was a good show, The Raveonettes sounded great, but not as good as the one in March at The Ottobar. A lot of it I think had to do with the crowd. People in D.C. are just not good crowds. Got out of D.C. no problem, got home in enough time to get one drink at the Wind-up at closing (after some mishaps involving one way streets in Westside). Yesterday, I slept till one, we watched some more QVC and HSN whilst playing Tom Waits very loudly on the record player (take that, hippies who live downstairs!!) before heading out to go to Chris' parents' to eat massive amounts of food and watch The Ravens. I think Phoebe is having a party tonight. I am hoping that it gets cancelled, just because it is so cold. I would rather go to the welcoming glow of Club Charles. I am going to refrain from all cola products for a while (trying to figure out what to drink then with vodka as an everyday drink), since I have been plagued by heartburn of late, and the soda definately adds to it. I will be glad to see Nick later.

"If You Have Five Seconds To Spare..."

My OCD was really fucking bad yesterday. I also got ridiculously wired on coffee, so that may have added to it, although the anxiety has been an issue. Got the tree taken down though, finally, and watched the Babayshambles DVD (Oh, What A Lovely Tour.). Nick and I went to The Wind-up (they DO have working heat now!!), met a very distraught Rob and later Lori (don't get me started on Angel, my blood boils), but he said that he felt better by the time he left. We had our Top Chef discussion. I hated that Nick had to go home, but I am glad that it is Friday, and like he said, soon we will be able to trade off on staying over at eachother's. He said that of his own volition, which I was glad for. I think that he is going to try for a guy's night with Rob tonight. Carmin's sister is up from Florida for the next few days. She is at her wits' end with Allen and his lack of initiative and assertiveness in their relationship. Got the tickets for The Gaslight Anthem in Philly in March yesterday. Got The Raveonttes show in D.C. tomorrow (hoping it's not going to be too difficult getting around what with the Inauguration and all.). Will be glad to see Nick and start the weekend.

Tuesday was Ottobar. Rob and Angel haven't broken up (whatever that means). Lori was out, hoping to see Vic, but he was elswhere. Shrouded in mystery. They played some Motown and Nick and I danced, terribly good time. Had two vodka and diets (adult size), which Nick was good enough to pay for. He was supposed to start moving some stuff over to Rob's yesterday. Hung out all last night with Carmin and Allen. Carmin made homemade pizza and she saved a non-mushroom piece for me (of course that added to the me having completely fucked up on my diet this week. Back to my bad old ways.). I fell asleep at the very end of Top Chef and woke up in the beginning of the 11 o'clock re-run. Have to check out The A.V. Club's write-up. Wish I could go to Starbucks like I used to on my lunch. I will be glad to see Nick later, The Wind-up is supposed to have better working heat now.

Roses, Lambics, And Peter Lorre.

Philly was awesome. Finally got on the road at five of 8 Friday night (it takes so long to get things underway and both of us out of the house.), made incredible time, an hour and a half, found the hotel after some difficulty, hidden in plain sight (it's those damn one way streets!). The Courtyard is actually nicer, I think, than the proper Marriot, and it's in this old City Hall Annex building, so it is all beautiful and opulant, gorgeous architecture, built in 1926, and while not having the charm of The Newton in New York, it was still lovely. Checked in the room, made reservations for Cuba Libre. Took a taxi, had a fabulous meal. Ordered our favourites plus some new appetizers. Nick ordered cerviche, which came out on a plate of dry ice, steaming and bubbling relentlessly. It was quite a spectacle. I got a black bean soup, which was good. It was really quite magical driving up Broad Street, entering the city, the music seeming to accompany the scene perfectly, the City Hall looming above us, all the lights cutting through the darkness. If it had been snowing yet, it would have been amazing. Had our Cuban coffee, got wired, Nick got his Cuban sandwich and I got my Caesar salad with chickpeas and red peppers, the meal was amazing. They sat us upstairs for the first time, and, consequently, we had good service for the first time. Complimented the waitress and got a $10 off coupon good till the end of the month (hope we can get up there to use it.). After dinner, we weaved our way through the salsa dancing downstairs, out into the freezing cold and down to Eulogy. It was stiflingly packed, spent a good deal of time initally pressed into a bannister trying not to spill my Lambic. Yes, they had the Kasteel Rouge on tap, and oh, it was delicious!! I know that beer is fattening, but we were on holiday, and it is, in fact, the only beer that I like or ever drink, so it remained the only thing that I felt bad about ingesting up to that point. I had two, was very similar to champagne drunk. Nick finally got his 120 minute IPA from Dogfish Head, something like 19.5%, and then a couple of 10%'s. Randomly got to talking at the bar, once we were able to get seats, to a guy and come to find out, we had met him the first time we ever came in there in May, before The Kills show. He remembered us more than I remembered him, but he recalled that we were looking for Johnny Brenda's to see a show later that night. What a small world. That sort of thing usually only happens in Baltimore!! Stayed there till last call, then took a taxi back to the hotel, where rather a bit of fun ensued. Hit South Street on Saturday, which was pretty much dead. A lot of shops were closed, a combination of the winter season and the economy. The streets were nearly deserted, too, since it was cold and the students are not yet back from the winter break. Found some cd's at Repo Records--- got a World Inferno cd!! Addicted To Bad Ideas (amazing), and Nick got Glasvegas (Scottish and awesome). Went in one shop while Nick smoked outside, then when I came out, he wasn't there. I called him and he said he'd be right out and wouldn't tell me where he was, then suddenly he appeared with roses. It was very unexpected and sweet, and it took me till we got in line for cheesesteaks to get my bearings. This was where my diet went out the window, but it had been years since I'd had a cheesesteak at all and longer still since I had had one in Philly. It was really good, if messy, but no fat or gristle, which is rare. Walked around a little bit more, but there really wasn't anything to see, so we went back to the hotel to read and watch television till The Raven's game came on. I took a nap, actually. The whole first quarter, things were not going well, then I remembered that I brought my Flacco shirt that Rob got me for Christmas, so I put that on and I swear to God, the next minute we scored a touchdown. It was a tense game, and I have never seen Nick so stressed and pacing. We did win though, right in time for us to leave for our reservations at Amada. This was a tapas place that we had been wanting to try. It was pretty good. My favourite dish was definately the crab stuffed red peppers. Also got a lima and fava bean dish, which would have been awesome if the beans were cooked more thoroughly, but it was still good. Nick got a couple of dishes which totally did not appeal to me, ham croquettes, those sweetbreads, but he also ordered flatbread with cheese and short rib, which was very good. I ate some of his calamari, although it was not breaded, so kind of eh. Broke down and got dessert, although we did split one instead of each getting one. Chocolate hazelnut with hazelnut ice cream. Really fabulous. We took a taxi to South Street afterwards, and as we were walking to Tattoo Mom's, heard a voice call out, "Go back to Baltimore!" It was Jarrod from the Ottobar, who now rents Vic's old apartment up there. We drank the whole night at Tattoo Mom's with him. We learned that in the back room of the top floor you can still smoke there, it was so wonderful, like the old days. We totally overdid it though, both getting completely drunk, but it was lovely because we took a taxi back to the hotel. Wish we could have slept longer. Had to be out of the hotel by noon and we both felt like shit. Because of that, we headed straight back to Baltimore, but we made even better time, an hour and twenty minutes, and then atleast we had the whole of Sunday to just take it easy. It was a very lazy day, which was nice. After Nick went home, I took naps, then got to hang out with Carmin some. Feel so bad that her and Allen just don't get to see eachother enough, their work schedules are always conflicting. Atleast he was able to come over yesterday and she made dinner. Nick came down and we went to Club Charles. Discussed the weekend and upcoming shows (I have no idea how I am going to pay for all of this, but there are so many good shows coming up, how can one pass it up? Not sure how much Gaslight or Frightened Rabbit are.), the football game this weekend (really want to try to bring something nice to Chris' parents'.). Rob met us for a while. He and Angel have broken up, or whatever you want to call it. Ottobar tonight. Will be glad to see Nick later.

I Lit A Fire

Dinner with Mom and Carmin was a really good time yesterday. Got pretty tipsey since it took such a long time for our food to come--- if we hadn't been talking and drinking, we would have been pissed, but as it stood, while we made comments as to what was taking so long, we weren't preoccupied by it. Had a grilled chicken Caesar salad (dressing on the side) and two vodka and diets. The Falcon's Nest had Maryland crab yesterday which proved to be very delicious. So that was it for me. Have lost three pounds since last week, been eating all vegetables and fruit since Sunday (either soup, or raw vegetables with hummus, and apples.), no bread (although there were croutons in the salad yesterday), no starches other than if there have been potatoes in the soups. Leaving work at 4 today to get a jump start (have to get some provisions for the trip at Target, fold my laundry from the dryer, pack, and wash my hair.). After dinner with my Mom and Carmin, Nick came down and we went to The Wind-up. Very quiet, dead, early evening there, but it was awesome, like our own private bar, and hanging out with Holly is always fun. Had some nice Tom Waits discussions, found out that one of Holly's friends who was there used to work with Dainty at Port Discovery (which is so weird, because out of the blue, Dainty called Carmin yesterday and they went for coffee.), Nick and I telling eachother lost cigarette in the car stories (there was a new installment in Tales of the Ridiculous yesterday involving a loose piece of lit tobacco that fell into my paper-laden purse, whilst driving.), discussing David Lynch and Sunny. It was fun. We left at 1, which was alright. Listened to The Gaslight Anthem driving home. They are playing somewhere in Philly (headlining!) in March. Totally down for that. Would like to see The Pogues for St. Patrick's Day, but that's probably not financially possible, unfortunately. Anyways, will be glad to get out of here and get on the road.

It is so miserable out today. The rain started yesterday, was supposed to turn to ice, luckily hasn't, but is still pouring steadily today. Mom dropped me off since I took my car to the Shell for an oil change. I wouldn't have been so pressed to get it done right now if it weren't for going to Philly this weekend. Went to Club Charles Monday night. Saw Shay for a bit and compared New Year's stories. That Twilight Sad EP came in the mail so we listened to that on the drive to and from. It's really fucking good--- I would love to see those guys if they ever come around here. Nick was surprised that I ordered it and that I got one for him, that made me happy. Got to the Falcon's Nest just as they ran out of chicken enchilata soup. I was so mad, but the vegetarian vegetable (or "redundant soup" as Nick calls it.) left over from Monday was good. Sticking so far with my diet, or reformed eating habits, so to speak. Have had soup for lunch both days, then carrots and hummus for dinner, along with an apple both days, and yesterday I also had a can of butter beans. But all vegetables and fruit, no bread, no carbs. So hopefully that helps. Went to The Ottobar last night for Twofer. I think that the rain and all kept a lot of people away. Never got packed, even with a show going on downstairs. Did see some faces--- Rob, Victor, Kristy, Kyle, and later Chris Jerkass and Will. We had fun, there were Smiths singalongs, but I tell ye, I am so tired of them playing the same fucking songs every week. They need to switch it up some. There is certainly no lack of excellent songs to choose from. Anyways, we were talking about the weekend, the kids at the school (yesterday there were several cluster fucks and catastrophes), it was a good time. Kept making me blush, which is no easy feat, but he has been known to do a lot of things that are no easy feat for me. Getting my car after work and going to sleep (this is good sleeping weather, or as my grandmother would say, "Good weather for ducks.") till Top Chef (new episode finally). Will be glad to se Nick tomorrow and get closer to the weekend.

Back to work, and all of the Christmas related days-off, leaving early will be a thing of the past. Weekend was lovely, but too short, as is often the case. Friday night, Nick and I went to Club Charles. Met Rob there, Angel eventually turned up, but that's another story. I seriously have to keep my opinions to myself. It's not worth bringing it up or seeming like the puritanical type. Anyways, it was a lot of fun, Jeremy was working, so I got two fabulous white Russians, Nick had his Pernod and seltzer and several Yinglings. Club Charles got packed, but it wasn't unbearable. Went home, put a fine finish to the evening, slept in till after 2. Yes, that was more than twelve hours of sleep, and it was awesome!! I was glad to get to actually sleep next to Nick after all of that time of not staying over and when we did, sleeping on separate sofas. We went to Five Guys for lunch. I hate to do fast food, but that was a compromise, since I've vetoed it so often, and Five Guys is really the best if you're going to break down and have fast food. Went to D.C. to see Gogol Bordello with his parents for his dad's B-day. It was so awesome. It was really incredible. Didn't get back till 1, didn't leave his parents' till close to 2, slept till 11, started the day in style, got ready to go to Chris' parents' to watch The Ravens' game. That was fun. I never liked sports or saw the point of them, but I can see now that there is a wonderful communal feeling that comes with it, similar, I guess to music, so while I still would not by any means say that I am an afficianado, I do enjoy it now and see its purposes. After that, we went back to Nick's and hung out there for a bit, then I brought him back to my house to get his clothes and car. I watched some Mystery Science Theatre with Carmin and Allen. Carmin and I watched the new Rock Of Love!! Oh, it gets so much worse!!. It was so nice to finally get to hang out with Carmin, and she was in good spirits. Hopefully this week we can go to dinner with my Mom. Trying to stick to cutting down this week. Will be glad to see Nick later and go to Club Charles.

"Damn, It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta."

So This Is The New Year. Tuesday, after a rather lovely start to the evening, went to Salt for dinner. It was an impromptu decision, good meal, but I do wish that I had made better choices and avoided the immediate aftermath. Basically, without realising it, I ate nothing but starch and was in extreme discomfort for a good part of the evening. Started with a corn and lobster chowder full of Yukon Gold potatoes, Nick got a Kobe beef slider with foie gras (which is goose liver--- how gross is that!), then for my meal, I ordered two more of the starters, the duck fat french fries (which we split) and what was described as salt cod fish cakes, but ended up being more like potato croquettes with fish mixed in the potatoes. Nick got a wonderful pork shank on top of mashed sweet potatoes with a red pepper sofrito sauce on top of the pork. It was so tender, it fell right off of the bone and he never picked up the knife. I had some of that, would definately choose that next time. While I never ate any bread (I hate to think what would have happened if I had) and we didn't get dessert (a minor victory there), as soon as we were done eating, I began to feel like I was going to explode and was struck with one of those "Black Dahlia" things I used to get fairly often--- that is to say where I felt like I was being sawed in half. It eventually went away, and Nick was terribly nice about my being miserable for a bit, which I appreciate. It was a weird crowd at The Ottobar that night. People I'd never seen, and an air of desperation, as well. I think it stemmed from the whole New Year's thing, everyone wanted to have somebody to spend it with, but seriously, the weirdos were out. In fact, we kept watching these two guys that didn't seem to know that Creepy Paul held it down for lurking there that night, and I imagined a wild west style showdown happening at some point to determine creepy guy monopoly on the bar. Rob and Lori, and then Vic, Kyle, Steph and Kristy all came, and I am really glad that everybody was talking and hanging out without me being like a go-between or glue. Had a really good time. Was suposed to only have a half a day on New Year's Eve, but ended up not getting out till close to 3. Went to dinner with my parents, which went well, I was very thankful. Nick's parents' flight got delayed till yesterday, so we had to stay at his instead. Had fantastic crabcakes for dinner, two vodka and diets, and an Irish coffee, then to The Wind-up for another Die T.V. before going to Chris' arriving right at midnight, planned on going back to Station North, The Wind-up specifically, but stayed at Chris and Beth's till 3:30. Lori's mad, I think, because we never made it to see her, and there was a back and forth of "come to Club Charles, come to The Wind-up" thing, then when we were going to go back, she had gone home, so we stayed where we were. Hopefully she gets over it. Drank champagne, and by the time we left, felt completely fine, and still have an unopened bottle at home now for a later date. Slept till close to one, Nick's parents got back from Florida (it will be so nice this weekend, as much as I love doggies, to not have to feed and walk said creatures on either front). Went home, slept again till 8:30, got up and went to The Wind-up. They were playing Chinatown (would like to see it in its entirety) and then another one called Northfork, which seemed kind of weird. Nick had to go in for a few hours today, lucky, I think I'm here all day, even though there are only patients till lunchtime. Wish I had sen Carmin on New Year's Eve, I mean, I did, but not to go out with. This was the first time in I think nine years that we did not spend it together. They didn't have money to go out, went to Darla's for dinner, then over Rob and Melanie's (of course). Still really bothers me that she finds it impossible to say no to them, when it's so easy and automatic to say it to me. I miss her, want to see her today. Will be glad to get out of here and start the weekend and see Nick.