Back to work today, after being off since Thursday at 4:30, which absolutely ruled. Tried to call Christian, got no answer, then drove out to Hampden after work, but his shop was closed, so I wasn't able to get that record. Still may check back the next weekend I'm around there. Met Mom and Tony at Chili's, then later on, once Nick got off of work, got dressed to go out. Wore a skirt, rather dolled up, if I do say so myself, felt pretty good, if slightly foreign to encapsulate so much feminity. Wore heels, walked up to Racer's--- REALLY bad idea. Terrible blisters to follow. Did get the pleasure of a surprised look on his face upon opening the door and got told that I looked nice. Went to Frazier's after Racer's, met Rob Soma and Chrissy. Must think to make use of my skirts and dresses more. Friday I was off to get the rest of the stuff out of the apartment with Carmin, have the walk-through and turn in the keys. Went to Common Ground for breakfast first, which was lovely. Everything bagel with tuna salad and iced mocha, delicious. We ran stuff to the Good Will, then loaded the car with stuff for the house, did a very superficial cleaning, and waited for the walk-through. I really don't think there should be any reason to not get the full security deposit back, but with those bastards, I hold my breath. God knows I can use that $800. After that, Carm and I were exhausted, so after watching some court shows, I took a nap, had a ridiculous dream where Nick, Carmin, and I were in Philadelphia, along with Chris Jerkass, who in this dream, was Carmin's boyfriend. I ended up getting sick for a while, either from the heat or from an excess of these tortilla chips I gorged myself on, or a combination of both, and for a while, was worried I wasn't going to go to the Depeche Mode New Order Dance Party at Ottobar that night. I did feel better to go, although, I felt a little apprehensive all evening, having only one drink the whole night. The dance party was hit or miss, some good songs, some crap, would have been better without Duran Duran, but that goes without saying. Stopped by Frazier's for last call, saw Rob and Chrissy, then took a very drunk Nick to Paper Moon where we dined on heavenly grilled cheese sandwiches. Totally wish they didn't have curly fries, threatens to mar the entire experience really. Back home, Nick passed out across the bed, couldn't get him to wake up long enough to lay at the head of the bed, so I ended up also sleeping cross-ways, too. We later determined his error was in drinking so much beer before starting to drink liquor. Anyways, once up on Saturday, we did very little before going to dinner with his parents and brother at Arcos on Broadway for some delicious authentic Mexican food. It was a really fun evening, his parents are terribly nice people. Stopped in Friends for a drink, walked around Fells (there was a drunk girl who yelled out, "Oh my God, Don Scott, I love you!!"). Went over Christina's new house near Patterson Park and just sat around. Would have much rather done anything else, but eh, what can you do? Later on there was a discussion about me always deferring to Nick about what we do, mainly out of my wanting to be accomodating or not having a preference, but maybe I should offer more of an opinion, without, of course, being pushy or domineering. When we got home, Carmin and Allen were still up and it seemed like we'd all hang out and it would be awesome, but Carmin got pissed about Allen drinking, and her and I had words about the television, so there was then tension, she was still pissed about miriad things yesterday, but I think she MAY be less so today. Yesterday morning, after waking up in the best possible way (haha), we went to Nick's to watch the World Cup. Went home around 7, said maybe we'd hit the bar later on, but I took a nap at home, that turned into sleeping for the whole night, and didn't hear from Nick, so I hopefully got caught up and maybe banked some sleep.

Really want 4:30 to come so Mom can pick me up and take me to get my car at Vee Dub (30,000 mile check-up liberating me of $150 today). Carmin has gone with her mother up to New Jersey to see Joey. I will be very glad to get to see Nick later and go to Club Charles. In retrospect, I really did not consume hardly any alcohol this weekend. Such things must be remedied haha.

True to my word for once, I actually was able to go home after work and get straight in bed. It's a good thing, too, because I couldn't have possibly lasted any longer. Driving home proved to be very difficult. Slept till Carm got home, then downstairs for my dinner, which started off well enough---turkey, cheese, and mustard on an English muffin, a couple more pieces of turkey and a piece of cheese by themselves, followed by far too many Dark Chocolate Peanut M & M's. Felt rather sick afterwards, and not just from my self-loathing and gluttony, but the too much candy sick, as well. Carmin had a migraine, so after watching a bit of television, we went to sleep, I believe it was before 10 o'clock. It was alright though. Texted Nick and found out that he was still in pain and only lasted at work till 6:30, but ended up having to spend two more hours there filling out accident reports.

I'm contemplating going out to Christian's to see if he still has that other Tom Waits record, but I haven't made up my mind. If I go out there, I don't know for sure if he's even open, if he has the record, and I know I will end up eating at one of the restaurants out there (Holy's or Golden West most likely.). I'd like to get that for Nick. Even though so much went on after that bit of drama the other night, I still am a little distressed in that I want to be sure that it has in fact passed and resolved. I guess it's just that last night was Wednesday and we did not see eachother. I'm off tomorrow to get the last of the stuff out of the apartment and they come over for the walk-through, and after that, we will have severed all contact with fucking Fox Hall.

Tomorrow night is the Depeche Mode, New Order, The Cure, Duran Duran Dance Party at Ottobar, which I'm very excited about. If Nick doesn't go to work, it would be good to get there early, when there is no cover and $2 drinks.

I will be so glad to end my work week here and get to see Nick later. I'd like nothing more than to have several drinks with a beautiful boy.

I'm going on about two and a half hours of sleep right now. That should provide some framework and perspective to my current state. Had to come into work at 7 today for another one of those ambiguous "Performance Improvement" meetings, almost over-slept, woke up in a panic, ran out of the house, managed to stop at Starbucks and have a cig on the way, punching in at 6:59. The only good thing is that I will be leaving at 3:30 (and promptly going home and getting in bed). Seriously thought I was going to drift off in this meeting. Wore make-up to Ottobar last night, the remnants of which remain around my eyes, threw my clothes on, hair not combed (not that I comb my hair really other than after washing it), battle scars covered as best as possible (there's one quite in the center of my throat, so not really able to be hidden by track jacket collars), haven't even assessed the marks which I imagine may be on my arms. All my other bruises from last week had faded and healed, therefore there was a mission to be met last night haha. Two For Tuesday was a lot of fun. Poor Nick has hurt himself rather badly at work. We suspect it was all the maniacal lifting he did at the park on Sunday, then exacerbated Monday and Tuesday at work. His whole left side basically, the right, as well, but not nearly as bad. He cannot raise his left arm, has pain on his whole left side. He needs to let them know at work and let himself heal. The music last night proved to be very good, we danced and it recalled the halycon days of Underground. It was awesome. The only rubbish bit of the night was when we were leaving, some perceived drama Nick suspected that I made the mistake of trying to clarify with Cintya, him getting rather put off, Cintya speaking up for me, then everybody basically saying that there was no problem or hard feelings. I don't want to have the slightest bit of drama between us, I was glad that it resolved, nothing is of more importance to me than avoiding such things. When we drove home, having stopped at Subway, and got to the house, Nick was going to go straight home, but I simply said I didn't want him to leave (as is generally the case). Quite a while later (hence my ending up getting two and a half hours of sleep), after picking up the scattered articles in the livingroom and upstairs, Nick left and I went to bed, saying I'll probably come into work today with the same glow I had to me yesterday and that he'll probably see me Thursday. I hope he feels better, I'll have to call or text him later.

I intend to go straight home at 3:30 and go to sleep. Once Carmin gets off, I'll see if she wants to get anything from the apartment, otherwise, just hang out. I want to not eat at all today, not in conference, maybe not even dinner, if I could, just sleep, and if I don't drink anything, I really shouldn't have to. A day of fasting could do wonders, much needed improvements.

Today after work Carmin and I are supposed to go over the apartment to clean, but when I just spoke with her, she said she is so tired, so maybe we will just go over tomorrow. I may still stop by and bring some stuff to the house. I'm also supposed to go to the funeral parlour tonight for Miss Audrey's viewing with Dad and Mary (although it is my intention to just meet them there). Then, of course, it's Two For Tuesdays. So I'm excited about that. Last night went to Club Charles. Got rather tipsy for a little while, only two vodka and diets, but all I ate yesterday was a turkey and cheese sandwich on an English muffin, some baked rosemary and garlic crisps and half a bag of microwave popcorn (which is basically all air), so I guess that's why it had more potency. I was pretty proud of myself for that, and intended to try to not eat till dinner and then have another sandwich like that, but I am really, really hungry now, and may have to break down and have a sandwich at Zia's on my lunch. Still, one way or the other, I started the week good, and I intend to keep it that way, seeing how I had been doing better and then ate SO much over the weekend (not even stuff that was so bad for me, just sheer volume). So what I do consume will be healthy and minimal. If it wasn't for drinking, I could get away with not eating at all haha. Anyways, last night was a lot of fun. Nick found a crab hat at work, and insisted on wearing it out to the bar, looking like a total tourist (if he'd had the Diana around his neck yet, he'd have really looked the part.), embarrassing me to no end. Rob Soma and Chrissy came out for a while, we pretty much closed the place, though, as per usual. Drove home listening to Robyn Hitchcock's "My Wife and My Dead Wife", fucking awesome song, and some other gems. Amazing things took place, history making and amazing things.

That fucking Tsunami restaurant pulled some under-handed shit, charging Nick's card $47, ten dollars more than he authorized. He was going to the bank today to dispute it, and if it was me, I'd go down to that restaurant and let them have it.

Carm just told me that Mirimax has a major motion picture version of Brideshead Revisited coming out soon. I'm going to look it up, very excited.

I kind of hope we don't end up cleaning the apartment and just go over tomorrow. I will be glad to see Nick and go to Ottobar for a few drinks later on.

Tacos, Rainbows, and Mousetraps

I came into work today, to a desk that looked like a damn avalanche had taken place on it, my supervisor pouncing on me about some problem before I'd even set my purse down. Numerous things contributing to my having the extreme desire to look for another job. I know I should, I also know I probably won't, but I really wish something would fall in my lap right about now.

The weekend seemed far too short, pretty packed, virtually no downtime I would say, which is good, but also leaves no room for recuperation or anything from it or the workweek, since now it's back to the same rat-race and drudgery. Ideally, I'd have one day a week to do absolutely nothing, or do things at my own pace, like whilst others are at work and I could just lounge around. Eh, it's not going to happen though I suspect haha.

Feeling kind of down, tired, but also feeling behind in so much. Bills, living beyond my means, things falling into various states of disrepair, lack of time. I don't want to get too far behind, I also don't want to miss out on opportunities to go out with Nick, or really just to see him. That leads me to wanting to take naps when I get off of work, which means I don't do laundry or unpacking or going out with my parents or hanging out with Carmin, or, conversely, if I still do all of those things instead of taking a nap, then I run myself down too much, and am worn out even more the next day. I got really sleepy last night when we left Club Charles (only like at 12:15, early by our standards), so Nick didn't come in, just walked me to the door. Carm was still up so I guess it was for the best that we didn't both come in with her still sitting up and immediately head upstairs and then him leave later on, but still, it saddened me for him to go, signaling the end of the weekend, and my having to come in here early, thus my needing my sleep, as it were. Friday night met Rob Soma and Laurie at Club Charles. We were both tired when we got home, but Nick wanted to watch some Direct TV in the little room, so I went to sleep, woke up to go to the bathroom, he was completely out on the sofa, so I turned the television off but couldn't get him to come to bed. Had to go over my Mom's to give Niles his pill, when I came back, he'd migrated back. Started the day off very well, stopped by his parents' house. They brought me back a pair of earrings from Puerto Rico, which was very nice of them. Then to the Latino Festival in Patterson Park. Some good food, walked around, then headed over to Pride Fest in Mount Vernon. Ran into Pete from high school and The Gap, Nick ran into a guy he works with. Interesting. I find that I really am pretty ok with whatever other people do, I don't feel anything, and I am very grateful for that. I feel blessed to be a tolerant person. Of course, I also recognise I'm not as PC as other people. Dinner at Brewer's Art, which was pretty good. We ended up going to 80's Prom. It was pretty fun. Didn't dress up, which kind of made me sad, but it was still so good to dance and Nick and I got on stage, which I hadn't done since the halycon days of Underground. Rob and my replacement were there, he looked ridiculous, which he said was the point. She looked fat in a pink tafata dress with her hair crimpted. By the end of the night, we figured Nick had drank around 18 beers, all totaled for the day. Needless to say, he was wasted and I drove home. He fell asleep on the sofa downstairs, he finally came up at some point, I woke up and he was there, which, of course was a welcome sight. Went to Rocket for brunch yesterday. Enjoyed it more this time (although, still not amazing), then to Druid Hill for the second day of Pride, seeing his lezzie brigade, a little regular work-out, although we didn't get to walk around the whole lake. Went to Tsunami for dinner, which was pretty much a disaster, incredibly underwhelming and overpriced. Put Nick in a depressed mood, we went to Club Charles and between some Jameson and Coke and freaking me out, teasing me about a half of mouse caught in a mousetrap we saw on the pavement, he cheered up. Rob Soma joined us for a bit, then we headed home. Killed me for him to go home, but I will be very glad to see him later and hopefully be far more awake.

The Direct TV people came out today, 9 am, which was good, however, like everything else I ever try to get done, especially with this house, it was far from straightforward and easy. The guys ended up being there for three hours, having to go in Dane's apartment downstairs to run wires and hook things up, move the dish from one side of the porch to the other. But finally, it was complete, and now we have more than three shitty network channels (BBC America, baby!!). Got to work at about quarter to one. Nearly about to leave, not bad. Went to Club Charles last night. Got creeped out myself in the house alone last night before Nick came down and while Carm was still at work. Thought I heard dishes rattle downstairs as I was about to take a shower. Needless to say, I did not go forward with that venture. Stood paralyzed at the top of the stairs, listening with my eyes, as you do. Seriously need to lay off the true crime reading again. It's permiating my brain a little too much, as it tends to do every so often. Read about the Kingsbury Run Murders. Fucked up shit, terrible terrible. Anyways, Club Charles was hopping like mad for a Thursday. Went to see Phoebe at that house on Calvert afterwards. Drank a Papst Blue Ribbon on top of two (strong) white Russians, something I only remembered this morning, astonished that I didn't get sick in the least. Had a good time, she reminds me of Rainey so much. Nick didn't leave till five in the morning, the birds were chirping and the sky was starting to lighten. Ridiculous, two forays, the second beginning approximately fifteen minutes after the conclusion of the first.

Was hoping to go out with Carmin and Allen this evening, or atleast meet up with them or something, but Carm feels sick, Allen didn't get paid, and they may not see eachother at all tonight. Don't know what is going on this evening, tomorrow is Pride Fest and 80's Prom. Have eaten like a glutton today, damn it. Have to feed animals and give Niles his med's tomorrow while Mom and Tony are away.

We Ain't Going To The Town, We're Going To The City

Thursday already, which is fine by me. Hoping I don't have to go to fucking Thoracic conference today, got business to attend to on lunch. Hitting the bank to cash check and get stamps and get laundry detergant at Target. Need to lay off of the credit cards. Need to go to Rosedale Federal and (regretably, cringingly) take out two thousand dollars, pay off the one. Still need to post bills.

Shite. Atleast tomorrow the Direct TV people will be coming out and we'll have cable again. This internet bullshit is bullshit. Need to get that sorted out.

Got my hair done yesterday, looks fierce, if I do say so myself. Nick said it looked good right away when I got to his house to watch the Top Chef Reunion. Just lounged on the couch watching that and an 80's countdown on VH1, compared battle scars haha. I swear, one day here at work it's going to be like in Fight Club, when the bosses come to Ed Norton about coming to work all beat up. "Is that your blood on your shirt?", "Some of it is." Not that there's blood or broken skin, just bites and bruises haha. Totally would have liked to have stayed longer, but left at 12:30 to get sleep to come in this place today. I'll be glad to get to see him and go out tonight, and hopefully sleep in a wee bit tomorrow, or atleast have time to compose myself whilst waiting for the Direct TV people.

Today's Carmin's B-day. She went out with Nikki last night, but came home saying she had a terrible migraine and went right upstairs before I went out. Left her card at home by her keys so she'll see that today. Got some condensing of stuff done last night, still have more to do. If only I could take the whole day off tomorrow. I could get a lot done.

Took a nap when I got home from work yesterday, after stopping off at the cemetary to belatedly put flowers up for Pop for Father's Day. God, that grave looks lovely, so many flowers, totally noticable from the road, just the way I want it. Anyways, slept from about 6 to nine, then had an English muffin cheese sandwich, which, along with a frap and some crackers in the afternoon, was the only thing I ate yesterday. Of course, Nick and I ended up stopping at the Subway on the way home from Ottobar (the bread working wonders soaking up alcohol), just turkey and cheese and lettuce. But still, feel pretty good about consumption and maybe seeing some improvement.

Nick hurt his arm at work on Monday, or he'd already hurt it last week, and exacerbated it Monday, I suppose, so he called out last night and went to dinner at Golden West with his brother (in retrospect, if he wasn't hanging out with Sam and if I hadn't had my heart set on taking a nap, that would have been a good opportunity to go to Gertrude's at the BMA, when they do their cheap menu for dinner on Tuesday evenings.). Went to Ottobar, the thing he had to tell me about Monday night was that he was propositioned multiple times at Club Charles by these people to go have a threesome, luckily he had enough sense to decline, on account, he said of having a girlfriend and of the guy in the couple being the one totally pushing for it. Gross. Anyways, Two For Tuesdays was good, got pretty drunk, only had two large vodka and diets, don't think I even finished the second one, actually. Rob Soma, Angel, Laurie, Chrissy, Christina, and Rachel Levy were all there at various stages, as was Rob and my replacement, although I never got to say hello to Rob, which is not really a big deal, but then this morning he texted me back (once he was at work, I guess when the coast was clear) saying, "Yeah, there never seemed to be the opportunity to say hi. Hope all is well." I am curious to know if the little bird carried the story about barging into my room and everybody scaring the shit out of everybody else back to Mr. Farley, not that I'm pressed about it, I would just be interested. We got home last night and Nick was going to leave right then, eat his sandwich driving home, but I had to go to the bathroom, so he came in and sat on the sofa, then he was getting ready to leave and was telling me some very cryptic plans he has for tonight, which I said I may or may not agree to, since he wouldn't give me any details (and there are some things I simply am not down for, although I am open to a lot of things), just to follow his directions this evening. I can only imagine. We started making out and went up stairs, an hour or so later (yup yup haha), when he was getting ready to leave, he said that I seduced him and made him stay, which I found laughable, but still, kind of nice. I've never seduced anybody in my life haha. He said it doesn't hurt that I'm terribly attractive (or something to that effect), and that this evening he's got some real ideas.

I am going to get my hair done after work today. I'm very glad because it's grown out and the red is completely faded. Shame it will cost me so much money. I also have to stop and get a B-day card for C. (we're still supposed to get pressies for eachother sometime in the future), stamps, and, if I get to the grocery store, some pizzas, Coke Zero, and snacks ( think I need to take a little break from the Goldfish for a bit.). Spaghetti sauce, too. Got to cash that check before I can pay these bills (including that fucking parking ticket I just got.).

I wish I had some total spend money, like that check from the government, I wish I could actually use it for "economic stimulus" like it was intended, rather than keeping me afloat and making a tiny dent in my amassing debt. If so, I would purchase the Brit Box cd boxset of Britpop songs (mainly, I really like the packaging, a red telephone box with Britpop band stickers all over it.), maybe that Tom Waits Orphans cd that Nick was playing Sunday. He still creeps me out on a lot of stuff, and some of it I still say is complete shit, but I am totally seeing why he has a following, and some of it is downright awesome. I think if I can find that used, it would be a good place for me to start. Yes, I have been sold on Tom Waits. I'd also like to hit Urban Outfitters, just to look around, even though they haven't really had anything super cool in a good two years. But alas, that is not the case, and I already spend enough money frivilously, or if not frivilously, then just to finance my lifestyle, and it's not enough.

Stayed in last night. Got home from work and Carmin was in a surprisingly good mood, not at all sullen or stand-offish. When eventually conversation turned to the subject, she said it really doesn't phase her anymore, which was good to hear, but also kind of a back-handed statment, in a way. Anyways, we had some dinner, and lamented nothing being on the three television channels we get at the moment, had a cigarette, then ended up going across the street to the 711 for an ice cream cone (which was totally bad, I know.) and cigs. Stood on the porch a bit, then watched How I Met Your Mother. That is a really funny show, as I'd always heard it was. After that we watched an episode of Sunny from the boxset, God, I love that show. It is so incredibly wrong in parts, just so fucked up in its humour, but I love it. After the one episode, though, we were both ready for bed, so at about quarter of ten, I hit the sack. Texted back and forth with Nick for a little bit, it killed me not to see him, especially after he told me what a shitty day he'd had, and if I hadn't already been in bed and practically comatose, I would have gone out to meet him. I told him I was sorry I wasn't coming out and he said him, too, but atleast there's Ottobar tonight. When I woke up around 5, I saw that he'd texted me just before 2, saying he'd tell me today what just happened to him, I tried texting him then, but he must have been asleep, so maybe I'll try him on lunch or when I get out of work. I wonder what went on?

I slept so good, and this morning, I totally could have kept going. Going to call Dad and see if they want to have dinner today, if not, I'm off home maybe for a nap or unpacking, then Two For Tuesdays. I will be so glad to see him later.

The Weekend Rockstars Are Practicing Their Lines

After this weekend, I am thoroughly Hampden-ed out. Friday night we went to Frazier's with Angel, Rob Soma, and Laurie, then over to Rocket. Stayed at Nick's to feed Mac in the morning. Intended to get to Hon Fest super early Saturday, but ended up getting there at 11 and finding good parking. I have never walked up and down The Avenue so many times in my life. There was, we learned, some validity to all of the Hon Fest backlash I'd been hearing about---this year it just got TOO big, too over the top, way too commercial. There were corporate sponsors and it seemed very contrived in parts. It's funny, because everything we ended up doing whilst there, everything we ate, everything we bought (which was very little), were all from places we go to anyways, so in a way, we just went to Hampden like regular, there just happened to be all these assholes there, too. Not everybody, mind, but the majority of the fucking yuppies, the tourists. Later on, when it started winding down, all the indigenous Hampdenites started seeping out of the woodwork, reclaiming their streets. I swear, I don't know what is worse sometimes, the natives, the yuppies, or the hipsters trying too hard. It was good to take breaks and walk up the side streets to get away from "The Maddening Crowd," random Thomas Hardy reference haha.

I was rather pleased with the fact that even though I figured I would, and even resigned or allowed for eating street fair food, ended up not eating anything from the festival, except for some Italian Ice (it was so hot), which is just water. Went to Starbucks on the way, ate lunch at Fraizier's, had a cheeseburger, then later we walked to Flip's for a couple drinks, then back to The Avenue right before the storm came up, retreated to Rocket for a couple of beverages, then walked to Golden West for dinner. Had the Turkey Jack sandwich again, only ate half, though. Went back to Nick's for a bit, then to mine and off back to Frazier's to meet up with the usual suspects again. I figure Carmin and Allen were with Rob and Melanie, because they got home after us, and while I checked to see if it was them that were downstairs, they didn't know we were home, got freaked out, and here comes Allen upstairs to investigate, armed with a beer and a pair of scissors, opening the bedroom door, and all of us getting startled. It was so funny, Allen still standing there explaining how they heard noises, and Nick and I in bed, in our underwear, then telling me, "nice body, by the way, I mean her." I then heard Carmin yelling, because Allen wanted to keep drinking once they were home, and then we went to Philly yesterday, so I haven't gotten to see her in a long time. For that reason, I am planning on staying home tonight, I know for sure that she is pissed with me for being out so much and leaving her in the house alone. I do miss her, too, and want to hang out and I do feel so bad about it, but at the same time, it is so hard for me to pass up the opportunity to be with Nick. Just like I know even though I need to make time tonight to see Carmin, I am going to hate not seeing him. I wish her and Allen would do something with Nick and I for once, they go with Rob and Melanie all the time. Went to Philly yesterday. Had a delicious dinner at Cuba Libre, totally worth it, despite the staff being a little wierd and shitty, then to Eulogy for Belgian beer, then on an ultimatley fruitless wild goose chase to find this club, Disgraceland, that was at neither of the two conflicting addresses we had. Ended up just driving home and getting Nick some Carlsberg's at Racer's (that made him feel better). Back to the house for various wonderful things, of varying degrees of legality haha.

Saturday marked our dating three months, and Nick said I am officially his longest girlfriend. I am really committed to being a good girl for him, not falling back into my bad old ways, and keeping the things I learned and have turned away from with what happened with Rob and I in the forefront of my mind.

I do want to see Carmin and try to redeem myself this evening, but I will be so glad to see Nick tomorrow for Two For Tuesdays.

Handshake Drugs and Dancing Cheek To Cheek

Got here at work at 7, get to leave at 3:30, which is awesome. Need to keep my fucking eyes open, not at all easy. Feeling a wee bit thinner since yesterday. Had a mocha Frap with a shot yesterday morning, then mostly salad at conference, a little bit of pasta and two little pieces of Italian bread, then nothing till an English muffin around 9 something. Trying to hold out either till lunch or when I get out of here and go to dinner later. I know at Hon Fest tomorrow there will be tons of unhealthy yet delicious things to indulge in, and Cuba Libre on Sunday, and I want to be able to eat with a little less guilt.

Last night was Club Charles. Only had two vodka and diets, but managed to get pretty tipsy, I imagine because of only having the English muffin before coming out. Had a good time sitting and talking, ran into Dave Betz late in the evening, buying shots and beers on Sub Pop Records tab, getting ready to leave for tour, very nice of him to offer buying me a drink, but I couldn't on account of having to be in work in five hours. We listened to a new mix Nick made driving, him saying more than once in the course of the evening that I am more beautiful than I'll ever let myself believe, and that he obviously thinks I am, because otherwise he never would have come up to talk to me in Ottobar. I sat there in the car, my head on his shoulder , moreso buried against him, as we got on 83, nearly about to cry, thankful for such a thing. When we were back at the house, How To Disappear Completely finishing on the cd, he brought up several times that "the L word" is not in his vocabulary, it's something he's never said, and if he ever says it, I will have to say it first, because he doesn't know what to do with that situation, and I said I didn't bring up anything, I am not pushing the subject in any way, he made a couple more references and reinerations, and again, I said the same thing, and he said, "Well for future reference," and that I have been in a long-term relationship before. I never felt like this before though, this is completely different, I am glad I got to say that. Didn't elaborate, but it is very true. I really hated having to go inside. I asked him to text me when he got home, but he forgot, and when I woke up this morning, I got worried on account of the extra drinks Dave had bought, and whatever else indulgences there may have been, texted him, got no response, so I drove by his street on my way in (ended up making ridiculously good time in traffic and getting out to Towson way too early), just to see if his car was in front of the house, that I would know he got home in one piece, so my stupid OCD-ridden mind wouldn't plague me all day. Passed an old Toyota on the way back, hope it wasn't Christina on her way home from Cintya's, that she would have seen me. I don't want anyone thinking I'm crazy or anything. I hope it doesn't get brought up, but if it does, I'll just say the truth, that I was worried because I never heard anything, and I was running way early, so I just drove by.

This morning is going by so slow, and I hate to think of how long till lunch, let alone 3:30, but I'm pretty sure if I make it to lunch, the rest of the afternoon will go by pretty quick. I'm afraid I will be tempted to go to Einstein's on lunch. I should check with Carmin and Allen when they are going to the city for his haircut, it was good going to Golden West with them for dinner last Friday. I thought Carmin was mad that I was going out and leaving her in the house again last night when I spoke to her on the phone when she was getting out of work, but when she got home she was in fine spirits and this morning, as well, so that's good. Allen is working tonight, and Nick said we'll have to stay at his tonight since his parents are going away and he has to feed Mac. I really hope to get to take a nap sometime this afternoon. Never took one yesterday, just kept unpacking, arranging, trying to get stuff done at the house.

I think I will sit here and fantasize about Golden West.

I am in desperate need of a haircut and colour. I'd like to try to get some B-day money off of Dad for that endeavour.

I will be so glad to leave here at 3:30 ( I will be glad just to go to lunch) and have the weekend start.

He is the most beautiful thing in the world.

There Is A Light That Never goes Out

Work is ridiculous today. I am stopping to write this whilst waiting for reports to be faxed over for my second conference, the shittiest of the one's I have to deal with, before I have to go over all these studies and attend said shitty conference. I hope they have something decent to eat today atleast. Not that I should eat anything. I'm never going to lose this weight again. There are just always too many obstacles and temptations and so forth. Fuck. I had to break down and start my day with a mocha Frap with a shot added, to wake me up and get me going this morning, where I had to go in early after having about three and a half hours of sleep. Seriously, I should sit my ass at home once in a while, but needless to say, that's not happening. Last night, I went over Nick's to watch the Top Chef Finale (felt kind of bad that Richard didn't win, but atleast it wasn't Lisa), then we were going to meet Phoebe at a party on Calvert, but appearently that came to an abrupt and disasterous end, and she was drinking elsewhere, and Rob Soma was at Rocket, so we met him there for a drink. Didn't get there till after 12, yet somehow 2 seemed to take it's time coming. Not in a bad way, like time dragged on, but that I would have figured the night would have seemed super short and pointless to go out for a drink, but it seemed like we had a decent enough amount of time to sit around. Had two vodka and diets and Nick had three Yinglings. Bought a six-pack of Natty Boh, which I subsequently left in his fridge, must remember to bring that to the house, if he doesn't drink it in the meantime haha. It is good to keep on hand, especially if the kid downstairs from us comes over.

Hon Fest is this weekend, going to try to get to Hampden SUPER early to get parking and hang out before it gets too crowded and hot (hopefully). Going to Philly on Sunday to see a show, The Estranged at a club called Disgraceland. Nick texted me yesterday, "Wanna go to Philly on Sunday?" which garnered an "Ofcourse" from me, I am totally up for an adventure. Printed out directions to an from the club and from the Cuban restaurant to the club, as well. Hated dropping him off last night, listening to There Is A Light, terribly appropriate. Looking forward to seeing Nick tonight, and the fact that tomorrow is Friday, hopefully a slow one.

You're The Bee's Knees, But So Am I

Yesterday I was off of work for suspension and it was positively lovely. Went to Club Charles Monday night, just met Nick there, got stuck in traffic on 83 on the way there, wasn't till nearly 12 that I got to the bar. Woke up yesterday around 10:30, sleeping was good since I now have air conditioning in my room. Unpacked my books and dvd's and piddled around with some other stuff at the house till Nick came down and we went out to Best Buy (Funny Games and Control and the new Lil Wayne), then to the cigar store for him to get Zippo fluid, then to the mall. Had Chik-Fil-A for lunch. It was just so nice to have such a leisurely kind of day, it was hot as hell again, but it made me feel better after eating Chik-Fil-A to be sweating and carrying stuff from the apartment, like maybe I was working some of it off. After Nick left to get ready for work, I went over the apartment to do laundry and brought my clothes from the closets and the food from the fridge to the house. Made a couple of trips back and forth. Wish I could have gotten even more done. Went to Two For Tuesdays last night. Nick left his wallet at home, luckily it was just in his other pants and not lost or stolen. Stayed till close, had fun talking and singing. I took him home, may go over this evening for the Top Chef finale. I know Carmin hates everytime I leave her in the house at night. Last night she was particularly freaked out because someone knocked on the door and then no one was there, and I was worried leaving her, but she insisted I go. I wish she didn't feel so unsafe in that house. I need to call Jeff and see if he can put a peephole in the front door. That would be an improvement. Still need to get the fucking cable and internet sorted out. It's bullshit.

Wish I could have a couple more days off from work. I could get so much done---everything of mine (personally) is out of the apartment now, except for the Underwood, and I want to get the dishes over the house maybe tonight or tomorrow. Then there's just Carmin's stuff left and to clean the place.

Bawlmer Summer Has Arrived

The typical Bawlmer Summer weather has officially arrived. Saturday began what is slated to be a week long stretch of 90 plus degree days with heat indexes reaching over 100, thanks to that wonderful thing called humidity that we on the east coast are so fortunate to have. Friday was warm, but tolerable, but in anticipation of the weekend, I went out and got a new air conditioner for my room, which still sits in the box. I will get Carmin to help me install it tonight.

Something very funny ended up happening Friday when I left Nick in the house. Carmin, despite leaving a note and making a point to not lock the top lock, inadvertantly did, out of force of habit, and Nick was locked in my house with no way to get out. I of course did not know this, and since he only has my cell phone number, it wasn't till 2 o'clock when I was on lunch that I got these three priceless voicemails saying that he was locked in the house and for me to please come and let him out. The last one said how he finally mananged to climb out the livingroom window, onto the roof over the stairs to the basement apartment, which is only flimsy plywood and not really weight-bearing, so Thank God he didn't fall down the seven foot drop to concrete there. It makes for a very funny story, and we told it to everybody this weekend. I got a key to be kept by the door made on Friday to prevent that sort of thing happening again in the future.

Had a very busy weekend, most of it spent outside in the blazing heat. I have never felt so filthy in my life as I did on Saturday after being outdoors for the majority of the day, sweating profusely, having bits of dirt and such sticking to my skin. We began the weekend Friday night at Rocket To Venus, where we met Rob Soma. The bar, for whatever reason, smelt like cat piss and wet dog, which was not too enjoyable. Saturday we stopped by Nick's parents' house for him to change his shoes and see if his check came (which it hadn't, niether has Carmin's). There were still Rilo Kiley tickets available, so we hit Ram's Head Live to purchase them at the door, before heading down to Little Italy for the Feast of St. Anthony (Italian Festival). It was terribly, terribly hot, but the festival was lovely, good food, excellent people watching, really a lot of fun. Christina and Cintya came over and met us there, and later on, we ran into my Mom and Tony. So Nick got to meet my parents, and luckily it went well. He can really be on good behaviour and impressive. Then we headed over to Vacarro's for desserts, obscenely decadent desserts. Seriously, Saturday was the worst eating day I can recall. I told Nick, I can't keep doing this, or I have to fucking modify it, because I want to enjoy myself when I go out and when I am with people, but I also cannot keep eating fast food or whatever like I have been, because I am not burning it off, and the battle is being lost. We had Wendy's for lunch (chicken nuggets, fries, and a small Frosty), an Italian Ice (which is just water, so that wasn't a big deal) and a slice of pizza at the Italian Festival, half of a massive cannolli at Vacarro's, then, after the Rilo Kiley show and Rocket to Venus, we went to Valentinos for tortolini. Atleast we kept up with the Italian haha (just realized that). It was delicious, just totally not the kind of thing I can do all the time. Nick kept saying we don't do fast food much, and we will burn it off at the park or whatever, but he burns his off a lot faster or more so than me, because he works manual labour. When we were in Rocket To Venus, I ran into Pat Lamont, who I hadn't seen in probably a year. He came over to where we were sitting and it was so nice to catch up a bit. Then I saw Victor's friend, Lindsay, who was drunk since it was her B-day, but she was gushing about how cute I am and how she wished she saw me more, and practically pawing all over Nick, saying how gorgeous he is and that she's noticed him in Ottobar. Then she let slip how Victor doesn't (or didn't, or probably still doesn't) like kim, and thinks he looks at him wierd, and I wanted to kick her to shut her up. Anyways, Sunday was hot again, and like idiots, we went to Druid Hill. It was surprisingly empty, but that was because everybody else had good sense to stay inside. We did some walking and played on the playground, Nick pushed me on the swings, but it was way too hot to walk around the lake and even though Nick was all for it, I finally had to say enough was enough, we had to leave, it was just too hot. Tried to go to Golden West for lunch, but they stopped serving till dinner, so over to Rocket (three days in a row), where Nick had a grilled chicken club sandwich and I had a Caesar salad (in an attempt to do penance for Saturday), which was nothing to write home about. It was pretty small. Nick wanted to get a milkshake at Cafe Hon, I only had one sip. Then he took me home and we were going to go out later, but ended up not doing anything. He was going to go to bed, and that sounded very good to me, so I dozed on the sofa watching Dateline and the news with Carmin before retiring upstairs to the oven. Carmin is so scared in the house, I don't know why. Maybe it's because she's not used to old houses in the the city, with all the noises from the street and in the house itself.

My suspension is tomorrow, so I am effectively given a day off. The only bad thing is the next time I am late OR call out, OR leave early, I am fired, so I hope I don't have to do any of those. But I get to be off tomorrow, so I can run all of the stuff for Salvation Army over and run the rest of the stuff from the apartment over to the house. I plan on going over there today after work, as well, to do laundry and stuff. I can totally tell my momentum for getting unpacked and arranging my things in the house has ran out, and I just feel drained. Carmin is starting to push for me to get finished unpacking because she wants everything settled in and says the house doesn't have a homey feel yet because of all of the boxes, but I happen to feel perfectly at home, boxes or no boxes. But I know I have to get the rest of it done, I just don't really feel like it now. This is what always happens.

Hoping to get to see Nick and go to Club Charles later, since I am off now tomorrow.

At this moment, Nick is sleeping in my house, and there is a note under Carmin's door giving her fair warning, and apologising for my leaving him there. He was sick last night and there was no way I was getting him up when I left for work this morning, not that I would have had the heart to suggest it, anyways. We went to Brewer's Art last night with Victor, Joe, Kyle, and Kristen. It's funny because once he gets comfortable talking, he just keeps going and going, and he kept drinking and drinking, as well (much like Allen, probably to get over not talking and to loosen up). There also seems to be a fluctuating, intermitant blatant distain exhibited by Victor towards him, not sure what that's about. I did mention about Nick having Asberger's and ADHD yesterday, as a means for explaining maybe how he jumps in so enthusiastically saying something or repeats himself or whatever. They probably think he's peculiar, but I am so terribly fond of him. So anyways, we came home last night, he drove, insisting, against my better judgement, that he was fine, and Thank God, we made it home in one piece, a state trooper and county cop passing us by, and the resulting sickness being delayed till be were home safe and sound. Divine Intervention that. Much in the way my intoxication sometimes is delayed till I'm home, Nick got sick, and threw up several times, finally deciding to sleep on the floor of the bathroom, despite my trying to get him to come back to bed and lie down. I got very frustrated with him, and I feel bad about it now, and I was very afraid that he would remember that or be mad. I finally got him into the bedroom, because the last thing I wanted was for Carmin to get up to go to the toilet and have him sprawled on the floor in there (At one point I had to go to the bathroom and he was like, "Just go," and despite my better efforts, he wasn't moving, and was pretty much out like a light, so I had to pee while he lay passed out at my feet.), and he put his arms around me and we fell back to sleep, then this morning I was really afraid he would be mad at me losing my temper trying to get him to wake up, but when I was leaving for work, I was able to rouse him enough to ask if he felt better and if he was mad at me, to which he said no. It really killed me to leave there this morning. If I hadn't left early Wednesday, and could afford to do it, I totally would have called out today. Damn it. Luckily, I just called Carmin and she's not mad, left a note on the door for him just to lock the door behind him when he leaves.

My "Forty Acres and a Mule" check came yesterday, which is terribly welcome, but will make little difference in the mounting debt I'm incurring. My Starbucks card was declined last night, which means I'm too near the $2000 limit, and my Capital One is probably up to atleast $500, if not more. I'm buying an air conditioner on my way home from work today at Target, Carm is out with Darla getting hers now. I figure I will deposit my $600 from the government and withdraw $200 of paycheck money from the ATM, it makes sense in my head.

I will be so glad to see Nick later and have a weekend to not be in work. Supposed to get up to 100 degrees tomorrow.

Went to Noodles last night for my free B-day dinner, felt like I had to use the coupon, then I went to Starbucks---no fucking willpower whatsoever. If I could just go one day without any fuck-ups, one day that I could feel good about, maybe it would propel me. I mean, what Nick said about having no complaints but that anything I lost would be an improvement is incredible motivation, but I keep falling off and can't seem to make any initial improvement to have a starting off point.

Felt like absolute shit yesterday morning. Left work at 10, getting another suspension, but I couldn't have given a fuck I felt so bad. I must have drank too much Tuesday night and then having (unwisely) eaten Pizza Golfish when I came home, and not getting enough sleep, when I got up I was just tired, but as I got into work, I started feeling worse, and this tickle in my throat from the dust at the old apartment was causing me to cough, which in turn gagged me and I ended up throwing up---all orange Goldfish remnants. I left and went home, got in bed and slept from 10:30 to 3. I could have slept longer, but I figured I should get up and I wanted to see Carmin. I had a headache still which didn't go away till around 7 when I had a Coke Slurpee for the caffiene. Yesterday and Tuesday I hadn't gone to Starbucks or anything so I must have had withdraw. Went to dinner for our B-day's with Dad and Mary and Carmin came, too, which was awesome. I hadn't eaten all day, and still wasn't terribly hungry when we went, but once I started eating, I really put it away, as per usual. I really need atleast two days to detox and not eat ANYTHING at all, and if I feel weak, just go and lie down. Just to drop some weight and start over. The only way to really do that would be to not have work or any other temptations (other people to be around and go out with). I do figure for the most part the big dinners for my B-day should be over with now, having gone with Nick, Mom and Tony, and Dad and Mary this week. I do have a coupon for a free dinner at Noodles I have to use this week, may go there tonight. Holding off till then, though.

Nick invited me to come over and watch Top Chef last night since we don't have the cable hooked up yet. I really would have liked to have stayed over, but I knew that I had to be in here early at 7 for this meeting and since I'd left early yeaterday, I knew I couldn't afford to fuck anything up or not be well enough to endure this day. For that reason, after top Chef and watching about half of an Iron Chef (what a ridiculous, over-the-top spectacle that is!), I left, although it wasn't easy. I seriously did not want to leave the couch where Nick had his head in my lap and was dozily saying I should stay. I said, "You know I don't want to go, right?" and he said, "I know you don't, I don't want you to leave, either." I said tonight I should be able to stay out or stay over, since hopefully tomorrow will be a slow Friday. God, it is just so good being with him, it really killed me to leave. I will be glad to get to see him later. I will have to eat I suppose on account of if I drink anything later (and odds are good I will, although, I definately should keep it to more of a minimum when I know I'm not going to get much sleep.).

Still got a lot of unpacking to do, but it is coming along. Need to get a rug for my tremendous bedroom, two rugs probably, and a stand for the television and my dvd's in the living room and a new coffee table I guess. Also there's the rest of the stuff in the apartment to come over. Still have no idea where we are going to put all of the stuff we kept packed away, since there is very little closet space here. Guess I just have to get rid of more and condense.

On the one hand it is so good and such a blessing to be faced with all of this "temptation" for eating badly, having people and social situations to go out with and all, but on the other hand, it's like I can never get a handle on this thing, which is spiraling out of control, because everytime I'm like, Ok, that's it, no more eating, some other situation comes up and it's like a gun is being put to my head. A delicious gun, albeit, however, now, it's actually reaching such a point of crisis, that I can't even enjoy myself really eating. Not unless I feel like I've earned it or like I can afford to do it.

I know that nobody reads this, and it's for the best really. I suppose I like this venue for the sake of anonymity and that. Anyways, compelled to state how much stuff we have to send to the Salvation Army or whatever. There is a huge pile of it on one side of the apartment, and now that I've started looking through things at the house as I unpack, I am generating a pile there, as well. I am being completely merciless, too, as I said I would be. It's amazing actually, how freely I am feeling about getting rid of stuff. I mean, it has always felt good to purge and unburden oneself of such materials, however now, it feels particularly liberating because it is coming so easily. Honestly, I am shocked at how I just feel like, "Eh, I don't need that, don't need that, not attached to that." It's funny, because I love so many of my things, I guess I'm just really, really serious about weeding out the superfluous items and eliminating the clutter, but it's almost a little disconcerting. Nearly everything I come across I feel like I could do without. Maybe it's because so much time has passed and things no longer hold the same signifigance, or I can look back to the bigger picture/end result. Also, there's this overwhelming desire to put all of the chickenbox items in a box all together and pack that away. While all that means the world to me, and I would never devalue it or forget it, or throw anything away, I also don't feel like I want that spectre hanging over things at the new house. I mean, after all, this entire moving exercise is part of the de-Farley-fication process (which I did not start). So I want it to be very much established that this residence is a new and separate entity, and not just in regards to stuff with Rob, but all of it, the OCD, the bullshit on so many fronts. You wouldn't believe the shit that I found, rubbish that I had written lamenting my OCD and wasted time and clutter and all manner of nonsense. Much like Morrissey who decided to leave the criminally shy, retiring Steven in the dimly lit Salford bedroom, so too do I want cast off that shell, those shackles of the past, personified, prehaps, by the materials from that age, and keep things clean and crisp.

So my plan is to continue going through things here at the house now, and condensce as much as possible.

Moving House and Turning 27

Back to work today after having been off since 1 pm last Thursday. I made my great escape from this place and went to the bank to take out money for the movers, then did more packing. Nick came down that night and we ended up in Club Charles, after sitting around in Tyler's newly cleaned apartment for quite some time, trying to mobilise the troops as it were. Finally I was like, Look, I got a busy day tomorrow, I don't want to waste an entire night, and besides, I really need a drink. That was true, too. I had had a panic attack earlier. I knew the moving panic was in the post and the anxiety was due at any moment, and then on Thursday night, it set in. For two hours straight, I didn't take a breath, just in full manic mode, running around. Finally, Carmin was like, "Dude, sit down a minute." Friday I knew Carmin and I were going to be busy. We got up and went to the bank, then Walmart to get the money order, then to meet Jeff and get the keys. I had actually forgotten a lot about the layout of the house, so when we saw it again, it was quite a surprise as to just how huge it is. Following that, we went to Hampden to look for a sofa, to no avail, but we went to Common Ground for delicious bagels, I got tuna, which had red onion in it, Carm had hummus (which also would have been good). Iced Mochas, muy delicioso! Then to Goodwill and Salvation Army, striking out at both. Things were looking grim on the couch front, then we stopped at a used furniture place on the way to another Goodwill, a lo and behold, we found a winner! Regularly a thousand dollar couch for $195 and I was able to jew the guy down to $175. It's cream coloured, so we plan on getting a slip-cover for it. So that was taken care of. More packing, more panicing, then to Ottobar where Nick and I had some drinks (very strong, mine atleast.) and later to Paper Moon. Came home, had a lovely time there before retiring for the evening, with the big move looming on the horizon. Had a hell of a time getting Nick up, but once I did, he and Carmin and I went to pick up the van (booked at the wrong Uhaul location, had to run all over town), and then got the couch. Of course it started raining so everything we did was in the interims between downpours. Nick and I had Checkers as the movers carried all of our stuff. Once at the house, Carmin and Allen stayed downstairs directing the guys where to put furniture and Nick and I directed for upstairs. My room is fucking huge!! I need to pack a lunch to trek across it. Just kept making trips running stuff back and forth from the apartment to the house for the rest of the day (cleared up for the most part), then Nick left to go to the movies that night with his brother and I started piddling around with unpacking and arranging things before crashing. Carmin and I initially slept downstaris because of the airconditioning, but around three we went up to our rooms. Ran around again on Sunday, me driving the van this time (Nick drove it on Saturday) before taking it back to Uhaul. Went to dinner with Nick at Bicycle. Incredibly fancy and a little intimidating, but ended up getting a steak with fingerling potatoes and vegetables, a good baby greens salad, and then dessert. Oh, the dessert!! This expresso flourless chocolate cake with hazelnut toffee and a class of malted milk for me (with a candle of course haha) and the peanut butter cup for Nick, which was just all this peanut butter encased in chocolate with toasted merange on top. Both were utterly delicious. So, I definately ended up enjoying myself there---oh, and there was champagne, too. $14 a glass champagne, and then the waiter gave us a second two glasses with dessert for free for my B-day. In total, not including the second round of champagne, the bill came to $134.00. God, chanpagne drunk is a special kind of drunk. It's a particularly warm, wonderful breed of intoxication. Nick commented on how champagne drunk is all of its own, as well. On account of enjoying said species, we stopped by Club Charles for some take-away on the way to The Copycat for a show Chrissy was playing. Got two small bottles and went over to this building, which is an old warehouse converted into recording and living space. After the show ended we went back to Club Charles with Chrissy and Rob Soma (whose surname is not actually Soma, it's Reichenhold, the Soma comes from his old band, Soma Solution, as opposed to the other way around, which is what I had thought.). Nicely buzzed, we went back to "break in the house", not in the burgling sense, mind. He asked several times throughout the night and then as he was leaving, if I had had a good birthday, to which I said yes, terribly good.

So glad I was off yesterday, too. Got more stuff from the apartment over, went through old greeting cards from years ago, found $160 in cash and a $100 savings bond, as well as wonderful cards from Buba and Pop and Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop over the years. It was so good to see the ones from Buba and Pop, written in her handwriting, and some of them that had messages, about them being proud of me and to be strong and keep going. I sat there crying, and amazed at how they continue to take care of me. I know its no coinseidence that I find this money (including the hundred dollar bill they gave me for graduation, which came FLYING out of the card) when I had to put out so much and will now be under some strain with more expenses. I know that they are still taking care of me and it makes me miss them so much, but so happy and so thankful. Victor came by last night to see the house after I'd come back from dinner with Mom and Tony (Macaroni Grill---SO good, but my God, did I overeat!! Starting today I need to REALLY lose this fucking weight. It would be so easy were I not here at work. For whatever reason, I can't abstain all day when I'm here, but working around and being off yesterday, I held out, with no difficulty, all day till aound 7 when we went to dinner.) They gave me $50 bucks towards a new tattoo and a couple of other things. Had a good time. They couldn't get over how big the house is, neither could Victor. Nick came over and we went to Club Charles, met Rob Soma a little later. I was so sleepy, combination of food coma and general tiredness from the move catching up with me. Nick said again last night how we really are quite bad at saying goodbye, after we stood kissing on the front porch for a good ten minutes gain. He said I won't be able to get rid of him for the weekend, which is fine by me.

Two For Tuesdays tonight. Nick is supposed to be bringing his brother and Victor's hopefully coming out, as well. So glad he's back and will be moving back permanently soon.