Got here at work at 7, get to leave at 3:30, which is awesome. Need to keep my fucking eyes open, not at all easy. Feeling a wee bit thinner since yesterday. Had a mocha Frap with a shot yesterday morning, then mostly salad at conference, a little bit of pasta and two little pieces of Italian bread, then nothing till an English muffin around 9 something. Trying to hold out either till lunch or when I get out of here and go to dinner later. I know at Hon Fest tomorrow there will be tons of unhealthy yet delicious things to indulge in, and Cuba Libre on Sunday, and I want to be able to eat with a little less guilt.
Last night was Club Charles. Only had two vodka and diets, but managed to get pretty tipsy, I imagine because of only having the English muffin before coming out. Had a good time sitting and talking, ran into Dave Betz late in the evening, buying shots and beers on Sub Pop Records tab, getting ready to leave for tour, very nice of him to offer buying me a drink, but I couldn't on account of having to be in work in five hours. We listened to a new mix Nick made driving, him saying more than once in the course of the evening that I am more beautiful than I'll ever let myself believe, and that he obviously thinks I am, because otherwise he never would have come up to talk to me in Ottobar. I sat there in the car, my head on his shoulder , moreso buried against him, as we got on 83, nearly about to cry, thankful for such a thing. When we were back at the house, How To Disappear Completely finishing on the cd, he brought up several times that "the L word" is not in his vocabulary, it's something he's never said, and if he ever says it, I will have to say it first, because he doesn't know what to do with that situation, and I said I didn't bring up anything, I am not pushing the subject in any way, he made a couple more references and reinerations, and again, I said the same thing, and he said, "Well for future reference," and that I have been in a long-term relationship before. I never felt like this before though, this is completely different, I am glad I got to say that. Didn't elaborate, but it is very true. I really hated having to go inside. I asked him to text me when he got home, but he forgot, and when I woke up this morning, I got worried on account of the extra drinks Dave had bought, and whatever else indulgences there may have been, texted him, got no response, so I drove by his street on my way in (ended up making ridiculously good time in traffic and getting out to Towson way too early), just to see if his car was in front of the house, that I would know he got home in one piece, so my stupid OCD-ridden mind wouldn't plague me all day. Passed an old Toyota on the way back, hope it wasn't Christina on her way home from Cintya's, that she would have seen me. I don't want anyone thinking I'm crazy or anything. I hope it doesn't get brought up, but if it does, I'll just say the truth, that I was worried because I never heard anything, and I was running way early, so I just drove by.
This morning is going by so slow, and I hate to think of how long till lunch, let alone 3:30, but I'm pretty sure if I make it to lunch, the rest of the afternoon will go by pretty quick. I'm afraid I will be tempted to go to Einstein's on lunch. I should check with Carmin and Allen when they are going to the city for his haircut, it was good going to Golden West with them for dinner last Friday. I thought Carmin was mad that I was going out and leaving her in the house again last night when I spoke to her on the phone when she was getting out of work, but when she got home she was in fine spirits and this morning, as well, so that's good. Allen is working tonight, and Nick said we'll have to stay at his tonight since his parents are going away and he has to feed Mac. I really hope to get to take a nap sometime this afternoon. Never took one yesterday, just kept unpacking, arranging, trying to get stuff done at the house.
I think I will sit here and fantasize about Golden West.
I am in desperate need of a haircut and colour. I'd like to try to get some B-day money off of Dad for that endeavour.
I will be so glad to leave here at 3:30 ( I will be glad just to go to lunch) and have the weekend start.
He is the most beautiful thing in the world.
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