Monday there was a small blizzard, so no school, hence no work for Nick. I had gone home Sunday night and wasn't planning on killing myself to get to work on Monday if it did snow, but they ended up closing the office, which is awesome, because it doesn't count as a call-out and we all still get paid. All of the patients would have cancelled anyways. By the afternoon it was clearing up enough that Carmin and I could go out for coffee and then I went to Club Charles with Nick that evening. I read a great deal of The Watchmen during the day, but that's about all. Had fun at Club Charles. Drank pineapple and vodka's (new drink), had a shot of something called Breidenjager or something like that--- it's a honey liquor. Pretty good, definately would work to replace real honey in a hot toddy, increase one's intake of medicinal alcohol. Anyways, Tuesday night went to the Ottobar. Just Rob, Nick, and myself holding it down. There was an unexpected almost dance-off with that horrible girl that wears all the fur and some guy friend of her's. I think that we won haha. Bit of fun, not enough hours of lovely sleep, Wednesday, felt like absolute shit. Stupid cough is back, read some, then, incredibly depressed, slept till morning. Swigging NighQuil, drunk, ill, and miserable, stumbling into the bathroom at around 9, hollered down to Carmin that I was just staying in bed for the night. Vowed to start things better on Thursday. Feel like my life is spiraling out of control, my hatred for this job, my regret for leaving the old one, my OCD, my inability to get myself to fucking DO things that need to be done but render me anxiety-ridden, then even more depressed. I have two parking tickets to be sent in, myriad bills (where the money to pay them is is beyond me.), my fucking weight and compulsive eating is ridculous (been on a bender. That's probably the one most depressing me, my lack of control or influence on my own fucking body.). Nick did get tickets to see The Watchmen at The Senator last night. I finished the book literally right as Carmin was coming through the door (she and Allen were going to the midnight showing at White Marsh.). I really enjoyed it. Enjoyed the movie, although it was not perfect. It came pretty close though in parts, which is probably the most vexing part, that it came so close to doing things perfectly. Looking forward to discussing it with everybody. Got about four hours of sleep last night, it was so nice laying in bed this morning, will be very glad to get to do more of that for the weekend. Hit The Wind-up early last night, saw Holy, had three vodka and pineapple juices, left when some shitty, dischordant, art school fucks took to the stage and started making a racket. Had to stop in Crush at Belvedere Square to use the toilets and had a drink there, then over to the movie. Despite the mere four hours of sleep, woke up feeling good, refreshed even. Guess it's that thing of getting so few hours is almost like a revitalising nap. At the risk of doing what I always do (start out with good intentions and total resolve, only to fuck it up and revert to my bad old ways, compounding my feelings of failure and hopelessness), I do feel motivated this morning, if for no reason than the fact that it is warmer, and getting up into the seventies this weekend, and that it is the weekend, motivated to do better.

Despite this motivation and positive attitude, as I suspected "The Micromanager" had other plans, writing me up and wielding the most preposterous and offensive of allegations, and informing me that I am on a one month probation, whatever that means. I know that I need to get out of here, but how does one find something when all of one's time is taken up by this bullshit? Anyways, despite this, I am still motivated and envigerated by the good weather and weekend. Hopefully, things can get sorted. Lord, I am ready for something wonderful.