Still unemployed. Thought for a moment that there was a lead maybe from M.I.B., but then today the lady emailed me back and said that something fell through. Damn it. I called Tracey today, left a message. Waiting for her to call back. Want to test the waters for how likely it would be for Trish to find something for me at the old homestead--- I am ready to fucking beg. I'm serious, I have no trouble taking a big old slice of humble pie--- as Uriah Heap said in David Copperfield, I have developed a taste for it. I'm very contrite, and wish to get back to where I honestly do feel that I belong. The other place never felt like home, or even like it would become home. I should have had my fucking head examined. Anyways, I'm not holding my breath, but if I could just hear from one of the other Radiology places. My car is at the shop, got an oil change, and, just as I suspected, the breaks were in fact fucked and would need replacing. Just the back ones, but still is set to cost $500. Hopefully I can get Dad to reimburse me for it, he offered if I need help with anything. I know that I should have gone with them this weekend to see my grandfather, but it just sets me on edge, and while I have nothing but tender feelings for him, what do I care if the rest of the family think I'm a bad grandchild? I owe them nothing and expect someday after my dad and Mary are gone, I will carry on just as I have. No hard feelings, but no need to be close. Anyways, have to pick the car up later, Carmin is going to take me. Will be glad if she and I can hang out for a bit. Concerned over how things will be once we don't live together anymore. Will have to make more of an effort. I said that I would treat her to dinner if she takes me to get my car. Really, I should be fucking fasting. You would think that unemployment and poverty would, if nothing else, aid in my seemingly futile quest to lose weight. Hasn't happened yet. Spent the weekend at Nick's parents' while they were in New York. Hit The Wind-up Friday night after a very good dinner we made of four cheese ravioli with white truffle olive oil (shit, left that at the house), marinara, shredded cheese, garlic bread, and then (very bad) cookies and cream ice cream. After getting obliteratingly drunk, went to Papermoon with Lori, Christina, and Cintya. Papermoon grilled cheese--- as good as it is when you're sober, it's twice as good when you're drunk. It had been a long time. Saturday, took an epic walk, from Hampden, through Roland Park, up to Guilford, through Sherwood Gardens, down the entire length of the Hopkins campus, past Wyman Park, down 29th and then up to Keswick, and back into Hampden. got Chinese food with Sam that evening for dinner. Found that I really like the eel sushi (so much so, that I got an order for myself last night when Nick's parents got back and wanted Chinese food.). The Wind-up was doing their Britpop Danceparty, got Lori and some of her friends out for that, but sadly nobody else. But it was so much fun. There was a moment whilst dancing that I really wanted to say, "This is it, this is what I live for." People were probably laughing at us, fuck 'em. Yesterday went to Druid Hill. Walked around the lake, used the equiptment, had the Chinese food. Bought a dress today at Ross, I know, I know, I'm broke, but tried it on when I got home, and boy, if it isn't cute. Good buy that. Will be glad to see Nick later and go to Club Charles.