"It Must Be Historical, It Has Its Own Fountain And All!"

I go for that test in a couple of hours. All of the nerves and forboding I felt last Monday, that I tried really hard to set aside last week, have returned, and I am sure nothing good will come out of it. Mom and Tony are still stuck in West Virginia, till atleast tomorrow. The natives are getting restless. I am not in that great of shape right now.

This was a very busy weekend. Friday night there was a B-day part for Joe at Frazier's, which was fun and I wouldn't have minded staying longer, but Nick wanted to go over this other party on Barclay (the site of the police shoot-out that took place during our extended first date.). There wasn't that much going on there, well, there was a lot going on, but not much that interested me. If you've been to one punk house party, you've been to them all (although this one was considerably more urban, what with the neighbours dropping by.). Anyways, we left there and since Rob and Angel and all had left Frazier's by that time, we went to The Wind-up. Despite my protests, we stopped at Subway (well, what I mean is, despite my insistance of, "Nothing for me," Nick kept up till I relented.) Took those home to have some Walker's--- the Prawn Crisps were disgusting, which probably should not have come as such a surprise. I'm going to need to order more already. Woke up and remembered that Nick was there, which made me very happy.

Saturday we went to Philly to go to Cuba Libre. We got different dishes this time, and unfortunately weren't terribly over-joyed, so next time we will stick with what we know we like, and try that tapas place, defo. Still, the Cuban coffee was on point, as were our cocktails at Continental after dinner. Walked back to South Street, checked out Repo Records. I didn't get anything, surprisingly, but Nick got this new band called Low vs Diamond, which is really quite good, and bought for me The Swell Season. That was unexpected, but it was nice of him. Went in Tattoo Mom's for one drink before heading back to Baltimore in what seemed like one of the longest trips of my life. Maybe it was because for most of the drive I had to pee with increasing urgency, or because I was getting tired, but I didn't think we'd ever get back. We drove straight from Philly to The Wind-up where two of Chrissy's bands were playing, although we did miss one of them, it was nice to see several of the same people we'd seen the night before. We left not too long after though (Rob and Angel left before us because she was really tired, too.). I was so glad to crawl in bed and pass out.

Didn't really get to sleep in too late Sunday since we had tickets to the O's game that my Mom couldn't use (being that they are trapped in West Virginia.). Took the Lightrail from North Avenue. I think my nose may have gotten sunburned haha. Met Nick's parents in Hampden. We were trying to go to The Dogwood, but it was inexplicably closed, so we went to Golden West. I am definatley getting the quesadillas next time I go there. Miss Debbie got them and they looked awesome. I had my last hurrah of fatty foods, and last matter to be consumed for a long while period last night at that dinner, because this week starts an intense and fiercely committed effort to lose all of this gross, disgusting, uncomfortable fucking weight I've put on, not even the stuff since Nick and I started dating and I've been much happier, but the extra shit I've put on I'd say in the last two weeks from all of the fast food and shit. I think I'm heavier now than I was last year before I lost it all. It will be a year later next Monday, since Rob left and I began dropping that twenty pounds, and I refuse to abandon that dream (of being thinner). I think I have figured out part of the problem is drinking Starbucks at lunch, since it causes a crash which then makes me gorge myself at dinner. Also, boredom at work or at home, in which I will eat to have soemthing to do and to treat myself. I find that on the weekends or when I am off of work, I can go all day without eating, without even being terribly hungry, and certainly without that horrible ravenous, shaky feeling which results in feeling faint and over-eating. I'm trying now to just not consume anything at all. No coffee or drinks or anything, till I eat one meal a day (before going out), and then enjoy myself on the weekends or when I have someone to dine with. This time this is going to work. It's actually physically uncomfortable the way I am right now.

Nick left last night after we got back from dinner. I went to bed pretty early, after Allen came over from work. He and Carmin I think turned in soon after. I slept pretty well, woke feeling well-rested, although I did have some unsettling dreams about going for my test today. Yesterday, when Nick was getting ready to leave, he said he hoped my test went ok today ("Even if it is partly my fault.") and that I would be ok. I was surprised that he remembered or thought to say that, needless to say, it made me very glad that he did. I really hope it all turns out alright. I wished him good luck with his pre-orientation-orientation today. I have asked off now for Wednesday since there is no conference, and I already have off for Friday and Monday for Labour Day.

I need to call Bicycle to make reservations for Saturday and make a hair appointment, too. I know I can't really afford to get my hair dyed, but it is looking rough, and I really wasn't pleased with the cut this time, either. I liked how when I was going over all the things I had to do today and in what order, Nick imparted, "Go to Club Charles."