Well, it is Friday, yet again. I was hoping to go to the Automatic Dance Party at Ottobar tonight. I was hoping to take Jim, to something of mine, the same monthly themed function that we randomly met at in December. Unfortunately, he's got to work again tomorrow, so he can't be out late, and there probably wouldn't be any sense in going at all, since, while I like to get there early for the no cover and dollar drinks till 10:30 deal, the joint doesn't really start jumping till atleast 11 or 11:30, and that's just when he's supposed to be in bed by. So I probably won't hang out with him at all tonight. Allen is sick, so he's not coming down, which means Carm and I can go out, which is definately cool, however, she hates going out now, and I know does not want to go to Automatic (I also don't know if Rob and my replacement may go. I'd rather avoid that). So Carm and I may hang out, but not for super late, since she has to open tomorrow.
I know Carmin doesn't enjoy the whole going out scene anymore. She has to work in the morning, and besides that, she claims to have lost her taste for alcohol, and is, in general, disgusted by the hipsters and people "trying too hard". It kind of makes me feel bad, because I do love going out, and while I don't really care what other people think, in trying to be something other than what I am, I know she is completely self-possessed and doesn't understand why I feel this need to not be at home. I do feel like I need to go out, to be among people and not be lonely. I am aware, atleast, of these things, and as I have said in regards to seeing Jim and anything else, atleast I am cognitive of the fact that I am distracting myself. Atleast I know that is what I am doing. It saddens me, because Carm used to love to go out, and for a time, she was doing it for exactly the same reasons that I am now. I hope she recalls what that was like and humours me a bit more.
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