This Is Getting Old

I think it may be time, yet again, for a change. Some fine-tuning or modifying. I'm very unsatisfied, and really, I just intend to be indifferent. Let's get on with it.

Friday night Carm and I went to Holy's for dinner. I held off calling Pittsburgh, and surprisingly enough, when he got home, he called me. That was nice. We made plans for Saturday to meet once I left the Clash thing. I then proceded to get ridiculously drunk on three Raspberry Gin Fizzes. I spent all of Saturday feeling like shit and thinking I was dying. I was embarassed with myself, even though it was only Carmin who saw me acting silly, and the sick portion of it didn't hit me till mid-day Saturday. I spoke to Pittsburgh that night, and had no recollection of the conversation whatsoever. I do not get black-out drunk, and this filled me with self-loathing. I would never want to (or would I let myself) be so compromised ever again, let alone in any situation other than in my own home by myself, with only Carmin to witness the embarassing details. It took me till 5 o'clock Saturday to get out of bed, weak and dehydrated, having thrown up even the water I'd tried to drink earlier. I managed to sip some Coke Zero and make some mashed potatoes. We went to the Clash Tribute Night at The Sidebar. It wasn't that great till after I left, the bands got better and played all Clash songs. It's a shame I didn't stick around, but I left around 10 to meet Pittsburgh and go out with him.

It was a little awkward, but mainly just sad and strange seeing Rob and my replacement. I suspect he's gotten orders because it wasn't till she went to the bar, that we made eye contact and waved to eachother. It's just such a sad, sad affair. I feel like I am watching a movie, like it's somebody else's life playing out in front of me.

I'm glad I just hung out and had a nice, lazy afternoon and evening with Carmin yesterday, instead of going out. We listened to records while I got my laundry done, then we went to Noodles for dinner, followed by Starbucks and Target. We then settled in for a night of Law and Order and burning copies of eachother's cd's. It was nice to hang out and just take it easy.

Tonight I take the big final exam for class. After this, I just have to go, at my leisure, to make up my sixty hours, and that is it. Of course, I will need to take the fucking National and State Exams (and pay out the ass), but I'm not terribly concerned about that, since I will be able to come home after work!! I can eat dinner like a normal person, and go to Two For Tuesdays, and do laundry, and not have to cram everything (errands, chores, partying, seeing family, everything) into the weekend. Now I just have to hope I pass this test tonight.