This was my long weekend, what with the suspension Monday and all. I'm feeling relatively low at the moment, actually, mainly because Carmin is giving me the silent treatment again for whatever crimes against humanity I'm meant to have committed this time. Her schedule this weekend had been really shitty, closing shifts Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, stayed over her Mom's Friday night to take care of Pee-Dee, so the last time I had talked to her Friday, things were fine, but then with her working and my being out when she would have gotten home, we just hadn't seen eachother, so I had tried a couple of times to call her and Sunday night I texted her about hoping to hang out and have dinner Monday, and I received a brusk reply that she was eating dinner at her mother's that day. I don't know what else to do. I have been trying to make sure that we have had time to hang out and I have totally missed seeing or talking to her this weekend, I feel like she is resenting me again for going out with Nick, and that really isn't fair. I don't think of her as only my roomate, she is my best friend, and I think that is evidenced by how much this tears me up. I swear, I can't stand to have affections witheld. I can't take it. I really don't think it is fair for her to take anything out on me, her shitty schedule, not getting to see Allen, the shit with her mom and her brother, the fact that I happen to like to go out, it's all ridiculous. I don't know what to do, but it kills me for her to shut me out like this. I figure some of it may be because of the cat, but I have been feeding him, and I did change the litter yesterday, which I know I should do more often. But again, I'm not a bad person, I'm not saying I am picking Nick over her, I don't deserve to be treated like this. Not when anytime anything goes wrong, I always want to makeit right, apologise, am distraught over it, not when I pay for things and lend money, and make purchases for us both, and never throw it in anybody's face or remind them or hold it over their head. It's not fucking fair. Last night, I stayed in, because I missed her and wanted us to catch up, but she went in her room when she came home and that was that. I tried to wake her up to watch Flavour of Love, but she said she was tired. I ended up just going to bed myself, lonely and dejected, and a little pissed, thinking I should have just gone to Club Charles. But when I told Nick earlier that I was staying in because I wanted to hang out with Carm, he said, yeah, he supposed we should take a night off. Otherwise, we would have seen eachother every day since he got back last Sunday. So I wasn't going to call him and say I was now coming out, but when he texted me that night, it did make me sad on a number of levels. I know that I probably shouldn't feel this way, but I kind of don't want to let opportunities to see him pass by, either. I mean, I don't want us to see eachother too much, but I also really enjoy his company. I don't know. It's just not fair for Carmin to treat me like this. I know that I have been wrong about things in the past, and I may be wrong about things at the moment even, but I've always tried to fix things, I always immediatley take the stance of apologising and trying to fix whatever it is I've done, and it isn't right to be treated so coldly, not when it obviously is not something I'm indifferent to.
Other than that, my weekend was good. Friday night ended up seeming like a bust initially because of Nick's Goucher friends not mobilising themselves to do a damn thing, and I totally didn't want to waste an entire Friday night sitting around that girl Tyler's squalid apartment politiking. Nick didn't seem to want that either, so he said we were going to go for a drink at Club Charles and we'd meet up with them later. By the time we got out there, it was after 12, so time was of the essence. I managed to get two white Russians and a vodka and diet, got fairly tight, and then we left to meet Christina and another girl called Cyntia at Paper Moon. I had no intention of eating, but, yet again, ye of little resistance, ended up with a grilled cheese. I do wish they had regular fries instead of curly fries still. By the time we got out of there, it was 4 o'clock, and we went straight to sleep. I was really tired, and just crashed as soon as I ate that food, was still a little drunk, as well. I had taken a nap when I got home from work Friday, too. Slept till like 9 or something. Anyways, Saturday proved to be an incredibly lazy day, one rigourous sort of activity several times over throughout the course of the weekend and very little else haha. The NFL Draft was on, so Nick was all excited to watch that. I had no idea what was going on, and it ended up working like a sedative for me. I dozed off and ended up with creases from his dress shirt across the side of my face. We ordered Chinese food, and yet again, I really didn't enjoy it. I seriously have to stop getting shrimp from them. Saturday night we ended up going to Club Charles and hanging out in this girl's apartment, with this stereotypical Towson jock who was ridiculous. I was glad to finally get home. Sunday was a really nice day on account of knowing that normally it would signal the end of the weekend, but not for me since I was off Monday. We went to Checkers and Starbucks and then to Nick's house (met Don Scott!!) to watch Death At A Funeral, which was absolutely hilarious. I had been wanting to see it, and it was totally my kind of movie, British and all that. That was so much fun, and I think we laughed through the entire movie. I really loved it. So much so, that I bought it at Target yesterday. We were going to go to Brewer's Art that night for those rosemary garlic fries and for me to have an evening of Alcohol Appreciation since I was off Monday, but by the time we got out there, they stopped serving food. I was pissed. His friend Rob met us for a drink. We left there to go to Rocket to Venus and meet Christina and Cyntia, even though neither of them ended up drinking anything. We watched some QVC and HSN yesterday morning/early afternoon before he left for his guitar lesson and work. There were a couple of gems, including Conjoined Pianists.
Tonight is Two For Tuesdays, so I am looking forward to that. Ended up having a fairly long chat with Rob on the phone yesterday. He had initially texted me to ask if I'd heard a new Deathcab song called Cath, and that it was about a sad girl called Cath and there was talk of a wedding, and that Ben Gibbard really knew how to bring his audience down. I said I hadn't heard it, but I already knew how it went. He said, "I do, too :(". I wanted to say, Who's fault is that, but I chose instead to change the subject.
I wonder if the fact that the trip to Philly is this weekend is something else that has Carm mad, but I have apologised so much for that, and we were past it. I don't know, I really don't, but I just want us to be Ok.
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