I'm kind of hating the fact that I'm obsessing about my weight in this venue again, recording what I ate and my grand plans for getting fit (and subsequent self-loathing fuck-up rehashings). Makes me feel lame-core. That being said, "Onward and Upward!!"

I took a FIVE mile walk yesterday after work!! I did it, I actually fucking did something I said I was going to do. I walked to the Starbucks and back and it was 4.8 and something miles. It felt really good, and even though it may just be my imagination, I could have sworn I saw a wee bit of improvement when I got back. I'm not kidding, I honestly think I lost a little something by doing that. Felt really good physically and really accomplished, as well. The walk back was surprisingly easier. Of course when I got to the Starbucks, after I got my drink (all I got was an Iced Black Tea, no Frap), I had to sit outside and have a cig, because for every posi thing for my body I go, I have to counterbalance that with something damaging haha. So yeah, felt really good. Burned 274 calories, which really makes you realize how much effort and energy it takes to burn off calories. It takes a lot of work! In walking almost five miles, I was hoping I would have burned like 500 or something, so essentially what I walked off was the two bowls of Special K Protein Plus that I had for dinner before going on the walk. Actually, they were pretty big bowls of cereal, so I probably didn't even burn them off entirely. Anyways, I am pretty sure I undid any improvements I may have implemented last night when Nick and I went to Towson Diner after leaving Holy's and Rocket. I had a great big plate of creamed chip beef and fried potatoes. God, it was good, but I ate it all and felt like I was going to explode (as per usual), and super-fat, and it made me crash immediately after I was done eating. I was dozing off on the drive home at 4 in the morning. Of course I didn't even get that two and a half hours of sleep, things got incredibly crazy and I did wake up considerably haha. I have several new reasons to keep my sweater zippered all the way up. Ended up with I'd say a nice solid hour before I got up to take my pill, then laid back down for maybe forty minutes and began the waking up process for Nick. It was seriously the hardest thing to get out of bed today, especially considering it is pissing down outside, absolutely miserable, and he said we should just stay curled up in a ball the whole day, as he pulled me back into his arms and under the blankets (and I tried to find a balance between savouring the moment and not falling back to sleep.). There is nothing I would have liked more than to have been able to sleep in, and I totally would have called out for that explicit purpose, were it not for the whole suspension/firing thing. I'm not sure if the next time I call out I get a separate suspension for that or if that counts for the firing thing. Must get that clarified today. Important to know what I am working with.

Last night at the bar, because of his account getting all fucked up, I paid for drinks, and I was pleased that Nick kept thanking me and saying this wasn't going to be a regular thing. He will make it up to me (he said he is going to take me to that FANCY restaurant in Federal Hill, Bicycle, for my B-day), and he doesn't like depending upon people because it makes him end up distancing himself, because it makes him feel bad. He said I am by far the best girlfriend he has ever had, and not just for this, and he doesn't know what I see in him. I wish I could say something in response to that, list the miriad reasons, and how wonderful and completely different he is, but I could only smile and bury my face against him.

I am so glad it is Friday and I can sleep in tomorrow. I hope it stops raining so maybe I can take another walk after work or just so it's nice for the weekend.

We really need to fucking pack the house up. Three weeks till we move. Shit.