The mystery of Carmin acting so peculiar is solved, and come to find out it actually has nothing to do with me. In some ways I feel bad about being so insecure or paranoid or self-absorbed to think everything revolves around me, but really, I had no way of knowing this, and it was kind of manifesting itself in our dealing with eachother. Come to find out, the situation with Joey in the detention facility is a lot worse than Darla let on, a lot worse than any of us knew or imagined. He's practically in a prison, he may be sent to a group home, they could keep him, not just till he turns eighteen, as we all thought (which is in a couple of months only), but till he is twenty-one even. He will not be released back into either of his parents' custody, Darla has NO rights, since appearently she signed them AWAY when he was a baby, they can't afford a proper lawyer, and the public attorney doesn't really give a fuck. The state's psychiatrist didn't turn in her report yesterday for the judge to make a ruling like she was supposed to, so basically, they drove all the way up there (Carmin under the impression they would maybe be bringing him home) for absolutely nothing to be resolved. She said they wouldn't even let them touch him or hug him. His head is shaved and he was in handcuffs and ankle shackles (more than a little excessive, I'd say). She was an absolute wreck. I don't think I have ever seen her so upset and crying. It broke my heart, because it simply isn't fair. They are throwing the book at him and he is just a kid. He violated his parole, but there are repeat murderers and rapists who are walking the streets, let out on good behaviour or parole or whatever. He has people who would take care of him down here, he needs to be away from that asshole father of his. Carmin says she feels so bad all the times he begged them not to take him back and they always did. She is afraid they could put him in jail, or a mental hospital, or if they put him in a group home, it may be with people who will be bad for him to be around. It's so fucked up. I swear, their mother. I love Darla to death, but she has dealt all her kids a shite hand from the beginning. She gave up her rights to Carmin's sister, Mary, too, but her father wasn't an asshole, and she probably would have given up rights to Carm, except there was no one to push her off to. I swear she is lucky to be as well-put-together and functional as she is considering all the shit she's been put through. Anyways, basically, they've said there is nothing that can be done. The judge will eventually make a ruling and so much of this is shrouded in mystery, even what he actually did to get arrested, which is how he violated his probation, is still not clear. I was under the impression that he was in a kind of boarding school or something, and that he'd be released and his record expunged when he turned eighteen and his father would no longer have any say over him (or be collecting child support off of Darla) and he could live down here, but it doesn't seem like it's going to be that easy. I can't imagine how hard it must be to have a sibling, and part of yourself, so far away as to live in another state to begin with, let alone now be locked up for who knows how long. Carmin's family is so scattered and dismantled. Of course, once I heard of all this, I had to call Nick who had just gotten out of work and was going to be on his way down, and tell him that I couldn't see him that night, that I had to be with Carmin. He said of course and asked if I was Ok. I said I really wanted to see him, but I have to be with her. Even though she said for me to go, there was no way I could really do that, not after she'd been so good to me dealing with Rob and all. So we sat up and talked a good while, then watched some television and went to bed. I will be glad to see Nick at Two For Tuesdays tonight. I hope seeing my concern for her and her brother will grant me leniency with Carm for the future if we have anymore issues like we have had. I wish there was something I could do to help.