This coffee I got from the nurses' office has made me hyper. Even before that, I can't believe how awake I felt considering I got like two and a half hours of sleep. I overslept and woke with a start and literally ran out the door to work. I thought for sure I was going to be late (and one more lateness and it's curtains), so I contemplated calling out for the day rather than be a minute late (the ass-backwards-ness of St. Joe's). I realized I had some very important loose ends to tie up for this morning's procedures, so my plan was to "call-out" but come in long enough to sort this shit out and then go home, never having punched the clock. I even left a message for my boss saying as much whilst driving in. Miraculously, I made it in time (five minutes early, in fact---and it was raining!!), and actually started feeling better, as well (I said I had a migraine, but really I felt sick in the stomach, heartburn and acidy feeling. I think it was from the vodka and diets last night. I briefly was imagining having a stomach ulcer, as I am sometimes wont to do.) But yeah, I felt like shit when I ran out of the house today, but feel fine now, Thank God, so I decided just to stay. I would have loved to go home, back to bed then spend the day packing or go with Carm for her haircut. Maybe stop for coffee or lunch (or both) at Donna's or Common Ground, but some other time I guess. If I made it on time, and that was the really big thing, and felt better, with my having only one more call-out till a separate suspension, I need to not waste it. Got to wear jeans to work today (like I said, I literally rolled out of bed wearing what I wore to the bar last night). Feel pretty darn cute---Smiths t-shirt, skinny jeans, my hair looks fierce actually. Started to see some improvement on the weight front, so I'm chuffed about that. I want to keep in going in the positive direction, so even though I'm hungry right now and getting ready to take lunch, I'm debating what to do. I was thinking I'd love a bagel from Einstein's, but I know that would be bad bad bad, so maybe pick up my med's from the pharmacy and stop at Starbucks? Frap or no Frap? Salad from Panera would be good. Yesterday I had a little bit of salad, three helping of fruit salad (watermelon!!), an English Muffin at home for dinner, and half a bag of Goldfish. Just had the English Muffin and Goldfish before going out, which is probably why I got so tipsy so fast. I'm very surprised I was not still drunk when I woke up, being I was only asleep for three hours. It's been known to happen haha.

No nap when I get home today, as much as I'd like to. Got to do laundry and get some packing done. Got a plan of attack in my head, just need to execute it.

Here's something wierd---Nick played Deathcab's "I'll Follow You Into The Dark" last night in the car, and it was so strange. I swear everytime he plays these songs that formerly were of signifigance and rife with memory for Rob and I, it just boggles my mind, and as I did last night, I look to the heavens in awe and think, God what do I make of this? It made me want to cry to think of how Rob and I used to listen to that song, changing the words to fit the names of places we'd traveled, but sitting there with Nick singing it, it makes me want that and the feelings are very juxtaposed. Also earlier on The Office season finale, the whole proposal thing made me feel funny. It kind of put in a low place to think I was once engaged, and it was all his idea, and now it's like none of it ever happened. I'm actually so fond of Nick and feel so completely different than I ever have before, I almost completely cease to have the feelings of regret and nostalgia that once dominated my existence. It's still there though, but it's just certain things that will bring it to the surface. Even then, it feels different. It all feels different.