Had to drag myself away from the house to come to work today. Left Nick sleeping in my bed, murmuring to me not to leave, to stay there with him, pulled at my heart, more than anything I wanted to call out. It will be so nice to be able to do that again, whenever that time will be. Whenever it's deemed in that stupid rolling calendar which makes no fucking sense to me that I once again can have a coushin. I just talked to Carmin. Not sure if he is still there asleep, but appearently he stumbled disoriented in her room last night coming from the bathroom, without pants haha. When she told me that, I started laughing, sitting at my desk with my head literally in my hands, both amused and embarassed. Well, Allen has accidently walked in on me in various states of undress, so even though there's no element of "an eye for an eye," it's all come full circle haha. Anyways, I told him I want more than anything to have been able to stay there.

Went to Ottobar last night. It was a pretty full evening. Rob and Angel were there, so were Victor and Kyle, which I was happy about. Nick and Victor seem to be getting along rather well now, both being very sociable and Victor coming over to say goodnight to him, shaking hands, all that sort of guy stuff that indicates the his general dislike seems to have disapated, which I am very glad for. Talked a good while to Pat Martin. He's a nice kid. Ended up having to take Cherry home, I am being more sociable, Nick said he told her that I am his girlfriend, not his "little friend" and that he is actually happy in a relationship. I said that I am, too, and it is very much a foreign and unexpected thing.

Stopped off at Subway on the way home. Didn't feel too bad about getting my six inch turkey and cheese, since the last two days, I've actually been behaving myself pretty well, and possibly seeing some improvement, which will certainly spur me on to continue. Yesterday had a grande mocha Frap on lunch, took a nap when I got home, around 7 had two bowls of Honey Nut Cheerios and about ten saltines. I discovered I am able to fit into a pair of Gap size 2 jeans I got when I had lost weight and hadn't been able to wear for a while, since I started putting it back on. Then, I hadn't even bothered trying, because I knew I wouldn't be able to fit in them and it would just depress me further. Something possessed me to attempt putting them on last night, even if they did fit, I still had no intention of wearing them out, but, surprisingly, after some effort, I got them on, and seeing as I'd put so much work into getting them on (and knowing there would be work to getting them off, as well), I wore them out. Even though they are still tighter than they were initially, just the fact that I can even get them on makes me feel better and is very encouraging.

The evening's events were cut short on account of discovering a lack of provisions, and my steadfast committment to not taking any chances, so I will be making some purchases at Target on the way home today. Carm called out today and is still congested, so I think I will buy her a bottle of Nyquil.

I think Project Runway starts tonight. I saw an advert for the fourth season of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia to start inSeptember, too, so Carmin and I are super excited abut that.