Back to work today. No posts since Thursday, since I haven't been in this lovely place since then. I hope I can remember everything now, and that things don't blur together and become too indistinguishable. Thursday after work, I got a text from Nick saying that it looked like it would be him and I going to the Ravens' game that night, since no one else was available. We went to that (it drizzled part of the time which wasn't very much fun), left during the third quarter, took the train back to the North Avenue station where the car was, and hit The Wind-up. Had texted Victor to see if he wanted to come out, when we got there we found that he and Kristy were coming from the Ravens' game, too. Laurie met us later and we had a rather a nice time. Friday, I slept in till like 2 in the afternoon, getting up and dressed, then heading over to his. We had planned to go to the fair, but the weather was miserable, raining off and on all day, so we ordered Papa John's and read before deciding to go see Hamlet 2 again--- second time in three days. Went for a nice white Russian at Club Charles following, before winding up at The Wind-up (imagine that). There was a jazz quartet playing at Wind-up, which made Nick pretty happy since he is an afficianado. Headed home and slept in. It was so good to get to sleep next to him. Saturday we were able to go to the fair, which was over-priced, but ultimately I had fun. When I had gotten in a mood (which I really hate doing), he was so sweet to get tickets for a fun house that had one of those spinning tunnels, where I immediately fell down and the carnie had to shut it off for me to crawl my way out (getting sympathy from a carnie is no small feat.). It was hilarious. I was mildly embarrassed, but we were laughing so hard, I didn't really mind. "There's that smile," Nick said.

We walked around some more, finding really awesome food places where we should have gotten food at to begin with, but eh. Got some grilled corn--- boy, was that good. So fresh and sweet. This is definately the time for Maryland corn. Then we went on our second ride, the giant slides. I have always liked those, although as I got higher and higher on those rickety, dinky, little metal stairs, up as high as the metal swings, just how high I was registered, and I started to feel paralyzed, but realized I had to keep moving to hurry up and get to the top. I'm glad that we are both scared of heights. Once up there, we sat on our burlap bags and the guy asked if we wanted to go together, so we did. It unfortunately only lasted seconds, but I had so much fun. It was awesome. I wished it wasn't so damn expensive, I would have gone again and again. But the once was fine, we were laughing and he kept commenting that I had the biggest damn smile that still hadn't left my face. Had reservations at Bicycle, which was delicious. Absolutely wonderful. Had salmon, perfectly done, just how I'd been craving it, and the waitress was good enough to let me substitute garlic mashed potatoes for the side. Had a baby greens salad to begin, Nick got the ribeye (raw--- er, rare, of course), with the fingerling potatoes and asparagus. The desserts were fabulous--- s'more creme bruele and chocolate hazelnut ice cream. We had wine and it was a wonderful, wonderful dinner. We tried to get people together afterwards, but Rob and Angel were on the island, and everyone else said they'd see us on Sunday. So we hit Brewer's for a beer (sat in the upstairs for the first time--- what a magnificent place), then Club Charles, then Wind-up, then Club Charles, then Wind-up again, having run into a couple people who bought Nick drinks for his birthday, which, as of midnight, it technically was.

Sunday was pretty lazy till we went to dinner with his parents, Rob, and Christina at Abacrombie. I gave him the tie I got him, which he was thrilled with. That made me happy. Dinner was very good, got them to make the macaroni and cheese since we know the executive chef. Left feeling huge, but it was very good. Later met Rob, Angel, and Laurie at Club Charles. It was a lot of fun, and I find more and more how much I enjoy his company. Yesterday was a very lazy day, doing nothing except sleeping in, ordering pizza, and watching several episodes of Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations. He came back down later and we went to Club Charles. Didn't run into anybody, but it was fine because we had some lovely conversation and making out. Throughout the weekend there was a good deal of listening to Sinatra (Sunday, Nick wore out his full suit that he got last week, my God, did he look gorgeous. Terribly dapper and criminally handsome, as always. He looked spot-on like a gangster from the 30's, and some random stranger said the same thing while we were out.) So, yeah, driving along, him dressed like that singing with Frank (terrribly good voice, too.) Lovely time. Last night he kept saying how it was so random that we met, and that we are perfect for eachother. I love him so much. It is something I am so thankful for and want more than anything.

Now more sobering things to report. I got a call from the doctor. That biopsy revealed pre-cancerous cells. It may go away by next year's test, if it gets worse, something will have to be done. I'm rather a basketcase at the moment. She says I should quit smoking and take good care of myself with eating. Of course the thing I want right now is a cigarette, and will probably succumb, my nerves are so shot. I have been crying and everybody keeps saying I will be alright, but they keep saying that and things keep getting worse. I have been not worrying like people for so long have been telling me, and actually enjoying myself, I've been so happy, and I feel like I am being punished. Everything I do is wrong. The way I was, things fell apart as a result, now the way I am, something bad has happened. What is the right answer? I never enjoyed things before, now that I do, something happens. The Catholic guilt is coming back, and I don't know what to do. I have been so happy.