Feeling not so posi today. Had to come in here at 6:30, but atleast I will get to leave at 3:15. Plan on going home and going right to bed. Didn't go to dinner with Mom yesterday so we are going to go today. She is supposed to pick me up around 5 or so. Just depressed, feel like my body is now damaged and I can't fully enjoy anything knowing this. Still wrestling with the feeling like I am beng punished. Am trying to put things in perspective, but generally feel rubbish.

Managed yesterday to not eat here at work. Took a nice nap when I got home, then ate close to 8. I'm mad at myself now, because I should have just not eaten for the whole damn day, since I didn't go anywhere, didn't drink anything and really wouldn't have needed to eat at all. I don't see how I am ever going to get a handle on this. It just gets worse and worse, the clothes get smaller and smaller.

I watched Project Runway last night with Carmin. Nick texted me when he got out that he'd get to see the first airing of the show and we chatted for a bit. Nick might try to have a guys' night with Rob tonight, although I would like to not have to wait till tomorrow to see him.